Q. The atmosphere in my office is so tense. Everyone is being asked to do more with less. People are either worried about losing their job or stressed about the fact that they haven’t gotten a raise in a long while. How can I change this to a more positive working environment?

Mary Lynne: Your department’s focus on what’s wrong can be debilitating; you show good judgment in wanting to change this. Whether you’re their manager or colleague, you’ll want to help staffers keep an eye on what’s possible instead of what’s wrong. Leadership comes in many forms. Pull your team together. Acknowledge that these are trying times, not only in the company but worldwide, and those who step up will be fine in the long run.

Remind your team that if we dwell on the negative, it will expand. Humans are creative; we can create a negative or a positive environment in which to work. Why not be a team that thrives instead of survives during these difficult times? It’s a conscious choice.

Ask what a thriving department would look like and write the responses on a flip chart or sheet of paper. Get your coworkers engaged in the process. They should come up with things like “working together,” “supporting each other,” “doing our best under difficult circumstances and taking pride in that,” “having fun.” Excitement should build when people get a sense of what’s possible. As excitement builds around taking charge instead of being victims, people will participate in creating a workplace that lights them up. Use that momentum and energy to encourage follow-up conversations. Keep the focus on thriving.

Q. My boss is younger than I am, single and has no kids. She typically works until 8:00 p.m. and doesn’t understand the needs of a working mother, especially when it comes to leaving the office in time to make dinner for my children. Should I tell her my needs and risk looking like I’m not a team player?

Pamela: A high-performance team has a lot of different elements. Working hard when needed is an important one. I’m guessing that you work very hard and make a tremendous contribution to your team. A high-performance team also gets the most out of the team members’ instincts, creativity, courage, innovation, commitment, flexibility, maturity and insights. A team needs all kinds of contributions from everyone to be effective.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like you bring a lot of these assets to your team. If you feel you’re being measured on how long you work, try to focus on the quality and value of the work you’re doing. Then you can have a conversation with your boss about what her expectations are and her vision for the team’s performance.

No individual member of the team should carry the burden of working well beyond what’s reasonable—even your boss. To have that conversation effectively, find opportunities to ask her concrete questions about what her expectations are for your performance and for the team’s performance. See if she can describe it in terms other than length of time at the office. It’s possible that no one has asked her that question, and she may welcome the opportunity to respond. Sometimes when our expectations get out of line with what’s realistic for our team, we’re on autopilot. She may benefit a lot from your asking the question.

Q. I’m supposed to go on maternity leave in the new year, but I’m worried my boss will realize the company can survive without me. I’m concerned that I’ll be spending what should be a joyous time with my new baby fretting about being replaced at work.

Mary Lynne: I would like one dollar for every time I worried about a future that seemed deadly but never happened and robbed me of my present moment of joy. I purposely stopped worrying years ago, and so can you.

First, look at the facts. There are laws that protect women’s jobs when they take maternity leave. Second, you want to consider the adverse affect that worry has on your job performance. If you feel insecure about your position, you won’t be at your best. Think about the value you bring to the company. That’s the emotion that leads to optimum performance and success. Negative feelings have an adverse effect on performance; positive feelings enhance it.

Third and most important: Motherhood is one of the ultimate joys in life. Unnecessary worry will take that joy from you. Don’t do that to yourself. When at home with your new baby, remember that worry is a useless emotion; it puts you at a disadvantage. Let it go by noticing it and then bringing yourself back to the present moment.

Q. How can I unplug? With my laptop, blackberry and cell phone, I’m connected to my office—which has global clients—around the clock. I know I need to take a break, but I feel like a great employee should always be available.

Pamela: Sometimes we feel like we have a picture of what a “great employee” is. But really we have a picture of who we’re trying not to be, which is a “bad employee.” This can be exhausting.

For example, I don’t want to get behind. I don’t want to miss that call. I don’t want to be unavailable. While it’s important to be responsive, being a great employee means we put ourselves in a position to be at our best. Ask yourself, Do I know what it’s like to be at my best under these circumstances day in and day out? Answering this question will get you focused on who you want to be rather than on who you don’t want to be.

Try this exercise: On a piece of paper, write “me at my worst” in the left-hand column and “me at my best” in the right-hand column. Under the two headers, list adjectives that describe these two states. You may write words like “rushed,” “unappreciated” or “overwhelmed” in the left-hand column. You may write words like “focused,” “connected,” even “valued” in the right. Notice how much time you spend in each column; that will tell you who you’re being most of the time. We take time to unplug when we feel we’re at our best. You now have a snapshot of that to literally carry with you! Ask yourself, What column do I need to be in to feel creative and focused? You want to spend more time in the right-hand column.

Q. I’d like to promote myself better at work so I stand out and advance in my career, but I don’t know how to do this without bragging. I was raised to believe that boasting isn’t good. But I see that in this economic climate, if you don’t help your managers recognize your contribution, they may not realize how valuable you are.

Mary Lynne: You’re smart to start thinking this way. All too often, women believe that if they work hard and get the job done, that alone is enough to get them recognized and promoted. You need to be your own best advocate, which isn’t boasting. Take time to connect and communicate with others to become known. Schedule time to network—of course, without neglecting your job responsibilities. Share your ideas with your managers.

Be clear about your interest in bringing your department to the next level. Offer suggestions about improvements. Formulate your ideas carefully and then ask for your managers’ input and feedback. Let them know what you’re doing and ask if they see opportunities for you to add more value to the company.

You also want to reach beyond your immediate managers. Ask key people inside and outside your function to join you for lunch or a coffee break, or catch them in the parking lot. Share some ideas or approaches you’re using and ask for their input. The conversations are not about you; they’re about your common interest, the company and how to optimize performance to get the best results. This is your opportunity to display your strengths, demonstrate your interest in the company and get feedback to make you a more valuable asset.

Mary Lynne Heldmann, a high-level executive coach, is a senior consultant at the Mark Cunningham Group. An author and lecturer, she currently facilitates the trademarked Achieve Programs.

Pamela Jennings is a performance coach. She serves as the director of development at the Mark Cunningham group. She lives with her daughter, Kelah, in Greenwich, CT.