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To add to my post. The thing no one talks about either is religion and kids. The place I worked was managed by a bunch of Southern Baptists. I have nothing against that religion its just they were extreme. They harassed me out not just because I had a baby but because I didn't run out and marry the father. I have known the father for 10 years and we have been together 4. We just didnt feel the need to run to the JOP and get married. For that they discriminated against me and made sure that I was to not work there as a sinning mother.

Everyone posting is so right. I just recently had a child. Everything was great at work until I said I was pregnant. Then I became the enemy and was eventually harassed out. I had to resign and because I chose to quit because of the harassment I have no right to ask for the bonuses that were given after I left that I worked that year for, I couldn't get unemployment to make ends meet until the next job, and I have no case with EEOC because I quit. It's ridiculous that bosses and organizations can punish you for having a baby. There is no sensitivity for the working moms in corporate America.

i agree completely. this article is not realistic. in reality moms are discriminated against for even maternity leave. or wanting to try a more flexible schedule. bosses are not accomodating to these requests and are unreasonable at times to good, hard working employees that are only trying to protect for their family and do a good job at work.

I absolutely, positively agree with all these responses. In a perfect world we would all be at liberty to educate our bosses and help the next generation of working moms to have it better than we did. But this isn't a perfect world. Maximom has pointed out that we aren't required to say why we need time off and should not do so. This applies whether you have a sympathetic, working-mom boss, or the other kind. That solution solves both problems: the stress of lying, and the stress of repercussions.

I have a different perspective. Having worked with mostly men my entire career I learned a valuable lesson early. You don't need to inform anyone of why you need time off. Just request the time off as you need. Men don't say, "I have to leave early for my daughters recital" even though they sometimes do. They simply inform the boss/team that they need to leave the office early. Or that they need a "personal day". We aren't little girls who must give a reason for what we request. Stick to the policy. If the policy says you need to request the day then request it. I doubt it requires a detailed explanation besides "vacation", "sick" or "personal".

I agree with Paradigmco. It's not helpful to just tell us to educate our bosses. While it's always preferable to tell the truth when requesting time off, and in a perfect world bosses would be open to change,I have a boss with no kids. And not only no kids, but hates kids. And she's not going to change her opinion because I have to leave again to go to my daughter's ballet recital, etc. So she'd rather hear that I'm on death's door than my kid has another cold and has been kicked out of preschool. I tell her the truth 90% of the time, but if it's a bad day and I know she'll retaliate against me in some other way (such as the above, plus no chance for promotion) I just don't want to invite that. The problem with managers like these is that they can discriminate against working mothers all day long in ways that do not get them in trouble with HR for harassment or discrimination. Most of the moms need their jobs badly enough that they'd never complain to HR anyway. So it's great that there are anti-discrimination laws out there, unless you want to be out of a job, lose all your benefits, (including on site daycare, and litigating about it), you have to either lie or win the lottery by finding a boss who is also a working mother/breadwinner/primary caretaker. and like Paradigmco, I too am highly educated, 20 years in the industry, and work in an industry that should be more flexible. The ironic part: my boss lies to us all the time when she leaves work hours early almost every day...

This article is not realistic. Here's my experience, as a highly educated and seasoned professional of 29 years: My (previous) male boss, with children, would make the lives of the pregnant women in his (multiple) offices so miserable, that they would never come back after having their child. He would nit-pick them, criticize them and give them horrible assignments. He told me, who ran his West Coast offices, that he purposely didn't hire more than 50 people, so that he wouldn't have to provide mandated benefits. The women who were already mothers, saw this and were terrified of asking for time to go to a parent-teacher conference, or stay home with a child with a fever. Tele-commuting was not allowed. Yes, they lied. This boss didn't care if he was a good manager. He had a business to run and you had better have your mind on business or get another job.