Meet Angela. Angela wished there was someone to support her at work.

Angela also longed for a friend to walk with a couple of days a week.

Truth be told, Angela felt a bit odd day-dreaming about these things. Wasn’t she supposed to be “Ms. Do It All” and “Ms. I’ve Got It Covered?”

Well here’s some news for Angela: There is literally no research, anywhere, that shows “going it alone” gives you an advantage personally or professionally. So, in fact, Angela’s instincts are right on…and quite sharp if I may say so.

But many days our reality is that of Angela’s. Whether we’re in the corporate jungle, or tackling toddlers amidst the jungle gyms, we might experience the feelings of isolation and lack of support. But why? We’re perfectly social and nice people. What is going on here? Several trends are at play.  Research shows we have less leisure time than men, the work-life policies of our fair nation rank in the last third globally, and – if you’re one of the eight million female entrepreneurs, about seven million work alone. It’s no wonder we feel our support networks, time, and energy dwindling.

Today, that can all change.

Today, we bring you the solution of a lifetime..or, at least..a lunchtime.

Today, it’s time to get your support network in order, and act as a member of someone else’s support network.

Today, it’s time for Guerrilla Mentoring.

It’s a jungle out there ladies, so get on your pink camo and start hacking away. Conversely, you can go and get a “Mentoring Pedi and Mani,” my personal favorite.

What is mentoring? It can be a casual coffee with a smart friend, or a formal program through your alumni association. You’d be surprised where it’s popping up. Here’s why:

  • People who seek out mentors are more successful. There is a correlation between higher pay, and the act/behavior of seeking out your own mentor.
  • People with mentors have higher confidence, specifically women. Exposure to mentors and role models increases the core “can-do” confidence of women and girls.

Summary: More cash, more cache, more confidence. All good.

You don’t have to wait until an alumni program or a women’s group at work or some motivated friends start a group. Here is a laundry list of things you can do today to start mentoring, and to be mentored. It’s about paying it forward, backwards, and sideways…so get your fairy dust ready girls.

How to be a mentor.

Guerrilla Mentoring: The Basics

1. Ask an interesting person “What is a current goal or challenge of yours?” (But in a bit of a smoother way.)

2. Ask if there is a way you could support them, a la: “How can I help you with that?”

3. Follow up one week later,“How’s that going?” Note the surprise.

4. Would this person be interested in doing a two-way exchange over coffee or conference call each week or month?

Guerrilla Mentoring: Social

5. Turn one session of your book club/cooking club/playdate into a mentoring group (use general template, above).

6. Turn a lunch or coffee into a Guerrilla Mentoring session.

7. Turn a social lunch into a Guerrilla Mentoring session.

8. End a social gathering with 30 seconds each of “what I need” and “what I can offer.”

Guerrilla Mentoring: Home

9. Turn a family meeting into a Guerrilla Mentoring session

10. Ask your spouse/partner how you can support them in a current goal or challenge.

Guerrilla Mentoring: Work

11. Participate in a mentoring program at work.

12. If there is no program, think about starting one. Do monthly one-on-one lunches to start.

13. Take a boss or co-worker to lunch, ask question #1.

14. End a meeting with a Guerilla Mentoring session-30 seconds each of “what I need to achieve my dreams/goals” and “what I can offer/how can I help.”

Your Section:

15. Your idea (See #20 of “The Code”)

16. Ditto

17. Ditto

THE Guerrilla Mentoring Code

18. It’s about connecting - not using, or a transaction.

19. It’s about supporting –not forcing unwelcome advice.

20. It’s about being entrepreneurial – not waiting for the white horse to ride in. It’s up to you to lead, be creative and resourceful, and make it happen.

About:

Kathy Korman Frey is the founder of the Hot Mommas® Project: The world’s largest collection of digital mentors and role models for use by trainers, educators, and women around the globe. It is housed at the George Washington School of Business, Center for Entrepreneurial Excellence where Frey is on the faculty and teaches Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership, the recipient of a National Excellence in Entrepreneurship Education Award.  Guerrilla Mentoring is an educational seminar series of the Hot Mommas® Project. Frey lives in Washington, DC with her husband, two children, and dog in a state of semi-controlled chaos. She is currently working on a fiction book for girls.