Father’s Day is all about celebrating the good dads in our lives. But it’s also a great time for dads to reflect on and refine their parenting style, according to Jeff Cookston, PhD, a professor of psychology at San Francisco State University. Dr. Cookston, who's done extensive research on fatherhood, found a perhaps surprising way dads can become better parents: Ask your child for feedback on your relationship.

“There’s a need for fathers to sometimes say to their kids, 'How am I doing? Am I the dad you need me to be?'" said Dr. Cookston. Even when dads think they’re doing a good job, their kids might see it differently. “You may think that you’re being a good parent by not being harsh on your kids, for instance, but your child may view that as ‘you’re not invested in me, you’re not trying.'”

The ways kids view their dads' behaviors and the meaning they attach to them were recently examined in a study led by Dr. Cookston and recently published in the Journal of Family Issues. For instance, the researchers found that girls tend to believe it's their dad's enduring aspects or overall character that drive their dad's good deeds. Boys, meanwhile, are more likely to think that their dad's positive actions depend on the situation at the time.

Overall, Dr. Cookston’s research has shown that the father-child relationship can have a significant impact on the child’s tendencies toward depression and behavior problems. Another reason dads should check in and essentially ask their kids 'am I more or less than you need me to be?'

Other tips for dads from Dr. Cookston:

Show your emotional support. Dad who emphasize the emotional side of the relationship have kids less likely to exhibit aggressive and delinquent behaviors.

Switch things up. If you haven't been a warm and accepting dad, it's not to late to become one.

Do you and your hubby ever ask your kids for feedback? Tell us about it in the comments below!