Nothing gets me hotter than walking into my house after a long days work, smelling the pungent aroma of Lysol, and marveling at sparklingly clean floors. A close second would be waking up in the morning to discover all of the week's laundry has been washed, dried, and folded. Now if it's actually put away I can't even begin to describe the sorts of things I've been known to do.
So I was floored when my husband (bless his heart) sent me a link to an article making the claim that men who do their wife's chores (I'm choosing to look past the assumption that us wives have a set of specific womanly chores - even though the headline did cause me to throw up a little in my mouth) have less sex: http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/free/20130130men-chores-sex-study.html. I'd like to take this opportunity to dispel the notion that this study may carry even a teeny-weeny grain of truth for any man foolhardy enough to believe it.
While I am not typically a conspiracy theorist, I couldn't help but immediately assume that this was a vast male inspired attempt to get out of cleaning toilets. I haven't completely ruled out that possibility but where it falls short is that on balance conducting a ten-year study seems like more work than doing the dishes. I'm sure one of the conspirators would have done a cost benefit analysis and filled in everyone else that it just wasn't worth the trouble.
I'm really leaning more towards my theory that women put this study together (I want a look at NOW's budget for last year and see if there are any unaccounted for expenditures that could lend credence to this theory) as a way to incent their husbands to agree to let them get a professional cleaner. This seems a more likely scenario to me. I'm reminded of the scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where the mother tells her daughter that the man may be the head of the family but the woman is the neck. Most of us women know that it is so much easier to get things done if you let your husband believe that an idea is actually their's. And what better way to make men want to commit to a regular cleaning service than make them think that it will mean more sex for them. Genius!
My husband knows this is the truth as for my last birthday he sprung for our former cleaning gal to come in and surprise me by cleaning our home. I was so thrilled I teared up and then embraced Carmen in an awkwardly long hug. When I pulled away I could see the thought bubble over her head: "Crazy white lady please stop touching me. This is not that kind of cleaning service."
To anyone wanting to test the theory for themselves just spend a few weeks having the woman in the relationship do the lion's share of house cleaning and let me know how that works out for you. Then call me and I'll send you Carmen's number.
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