O.K. We all get it. America’s kids have a serious weight problem. 

Lots of people offer solutions.

First Lady Michelle Obama says Let’s Move!

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg proposes a soda ban.

Even Minnie, Mickey and Goofy are onboard - they promise to advertise only healthy food.

These initiatives are great. But something’s missing in the national dialogue about childhood obesity: helping families talk about factors that contribute to the epidemic.

I mean really talk – conversations about why it’s important to grab an apple instead of a bag of chips. Why to turn off the TV and get moving. 

For some parents, it’s easier said than done. In a national survey, nearly a quarter of parents of eight-to-12 year olds admit they’d rather talk with kids about sex than weight.

As a medical journalist I’ve written a lot about sexual health. I know that plenty of parents dread the subject of sex.

But weight? Why so squeamish? Turns out there are lots of reasons. One mom told me, “If I talk about exercise or food, my daughter will think I’m criticizing her. I’ll hurt her self-esteem.” A dad’s talks with his daughter about weight backfired. She still ate unhealthy snacks, but sneaked them. Other parents worry that comments about weight will trigger an eating disorder.

That’s why it’s so important that we know how to talk with kids about physical activity, healthy eating, and, yes, the benefits of healthy weight.

There’s a lot at stake. Unless you live under a rock you’ve heard why it’s risky for kids to be overweight: Type II Diabetes, heart disease and other ailments that, until a few years ago, were seen only in adults. Obesity affects kids’ emotional wellbeing, too. Children who carry extra pounds are more likely to be bullied. 

Khaaliqa knows what that’s like. Now 15, she recalls the pain of being called Fatty by middle school classmates. She confided in her mom, Michelle, that she felt ugly. 

Michelle gave her lots of support. “I told Khaaliqa everyday, ‘You’re beautiful. You’re smart.’ “

Michelle focused mostly on health. She encouraged Khaaliqa to join a sport and to be active, and set a good example with her own daily routine. “I told her she’d feel better physically – that she wouldn’t feel sluggish all the time.”

Khaaliqa’s dad Christopher is involved, too. He shoots hoops with her and emphasizes her accomplishments. “I tell Khaaliqa all the time that what you see, this flesh, is temporary. But what you do in life is forever.”

These thoughtful conversations really do make a difference. Another national survey found that kids’ interest in healthy food increased dramatically - from 44 percent to 73 percent - when parents talked with them about healthy choices. These same children are more than twice as likely to read nutrition labels to help them pick healthier foods.

Khaaliqa joined a basketball team, where she excels on the court and has close friends. After school, rather than turn on the TV or stare at her computer, she cranks up the music to dance with her little brother and sisters. She feels better – inside and out. “Now that I move around a lot, I feel more energized and want to do more.”

There’s an added benefit: Khaaliqa says she and her dad really connect. “When we’re shooting the ball, we talk and always laugh. It’s fun because we’re building a better relationship for us.” 

So for health’s sake, keep talking. Remember: communication is a two-way street. Ask questions and then listen. These tips will help to get the conversation going.

Help children develop self-awareness: “When you’re active, how does it affect the way you feel?”

Share how healthy choices make you feel: “I feel great when I’m active because…”

Talk openly about your challenges: “I didn’t feel like exercising today, but I’m so glad I did. I feel better now.”

Copyright © 2012 Blake Works Inc. All rights reserved.