I had an experience with a set of Super Parent's this weekend while away on a mini vacation. I had just physically removed Nathaniel from the hotel restaurant due to his inability to listen and behave.  Nathaniel sat in "time out" in the lobby while I played on my iphone and we waited for Paige and the girls to finish lunch and pay the bill.

Enter Super Parents...

A couple and their son (probably about 3 years old) walk in to the hotel.  While Super Mom goes to check in, Super Dad sits down next to us.  Perfect Kid is clean and dressed in khaki's and a white (yes, white) shirt despite the fact that I hear the mother say they had been in the car for four hours.  I look at Nathaniel who is covered in food and is wearing his shirt on inside out and his shoes on the wrong feet. 

Super Dad asks Perfect Kid if he is hungy and then pulls a healthy snack out of his man purse/diaper bag.  He proceeds to use snack time as a learning experience as they count carrots and talk about the fact that they are orange. Super Mom comes over and together they fuss over Perfect Kid and how smart he is. 

It is so annoying I want to puke. Not only are they disrupting my intense game of Words with Friends and the only five minutes of quiet I will get all day, they are making me look bad in front of my kid who is staring and clearly facinated with these people. What is Nathaniel thinking? Does he think this is as lame as I do?  Does he want to go home with Super Parents?  Does he wish I was always prepared with healthy snacks and a smile? Is he wondering if they are aliens?  I want to tell him this is complete bullshit but am afraid Super Parents will hear me and judge.

The next day we run in to Super Parents again at the pool.  I am holding the baby and coordinating the other two kids in a half-assed game of shark while trying to keep them from drifting out of the shallow area.

Out struts Super Parents and Perfect Kid.

Perfect Kid does not have to stay in the shallow end because Super Parents brought swimmies and BOTH parents are swimming along side of him cheering him on and playing a series of educational and fun toddler games. Why didn't I remember the damn swimmies?  And, why do I suddenly feel like our shark game is inappropriate (I am the mother shark, Nate is the father shark and we are teaching our babies -- Caroline and Charlotte -- how to hunt and eat fish and the occasional person).

I want to punch these people. Who are they to judge me?  So what if I can't make every experience an educational one.  Who cares if my kids stayed up until 10 pm last night and have not bathed since we've been here (chlorine cleans them anyway)?  We are having a blast.  In fact, until Super Parents showed up, we were having more than a blast.  Who the hell are these Nerds to judge me??

But, deep in my heart I know the truth. Super Parents are not judging me at all.  Super Parents are not even looking at me and my dirty, exhausted, chocolate faced adorable kids. They are first time parents and they are just enjoying it and trying -- as I once did -- to do it all right. 

The reality is that I am the one judging me. And, frankly, judging them too. I am judging myself because I was once Super Parent and now I am "Do the best I can and try not to kill anybody" parent. Caroline and Nathaniel don't get to experience the one-on-one that Perfect Kid is getting.

A few years from now it is likely that Super Parents will be more like me. Which, may actually be more fun and less pressure for them as well as Perfect Kid.  When I think back to my childhood, it is actually the "Do the best I can and try not to kill anybody" moments that make me laugh and contribute to my character.

And, if I do say so myself, I actually have it together for being such a hot mess.