Have you ever played the “Glad Game?” It’s inspired by another of my favorite literature heroines-Pollyanna Whittier. As a child, Pollyanna’s father taught her that there was always something to be glad about in every situation no matter how bleak. Even after his death and as an orphan, she inspired those around her with her optimism.

I have been called “Pollyanna” multiple times in my life, but the connotation hasn’t always been positive. I’ve heard the criticisms that I’m a “dreamer,” “too optimistic for my own good,” “not grounded in reality, “a Pollyanna.” I’ve even had one person say that it’s sickening that I could smile so much because no one’s life can be that charmed. I never professed to have a charmed life. I have issues. Serious issues. If you don’t believe me, go back and read my earlier blog posts.

I don’t smile and find the good in people as a coping mechanism. I have just learned that every day is a new day, and that I should thankful to be alive, to have food, to have clothes, to have a job, a car, family, friends, socks, a Target and Chick-Fil-A down the street…you get the picture. Even in the midst of my greatest tragedies and trials in life, I have still felt blessed to be alive. What’s not to smile about?

As I drove Lexi to school yesterday, she said, “Mommy, I don’t like this car. I wish we had a new one.” Those are fighting words and immediately triggered the Glad Game, and she had to tell me all the things we should be thankful for about our car. For me…I’m glad that we have two cars that run well. I’m thankful that we have money to put gas in the car, that we don’t have a car payment, that we even have a car, that we have paved streets to drive on, speed limits to keep us safe, and on it goes.

But, I was un-Pollyanna like for the rest of the day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I didn’t have a fight with my hubby, child, or co-worker. I didn’t receive any bad news. In fact, it was Valentine’s Day! But yet, I struggled to feel glad. I had this empty feeling inside all day, and I couldn’t figure out what to make of it or how to get out of it. My poor husband didn’t know what to do. He had cooked a fabulous Valentine’s meal. I was feeling as loved as any woman in the world, but I just felt…out of sorts.
I know people have “off days,” but this was different. I’ve lain in a hospital room with some serious health concerns. I’ve lost two precious children before I knew them. I’ve sat and wondered whether my marriage would survive. But even in the midst of all of that, I felt thankful.

Yesterday, I just didn’t feel…anything, and that was a horrible state for me. I’d rather be a Pollyanna any day of the week and look out on the world in wonder and awe and excitement even if people do make fun of me and call me a “dreamer.” I saw a glimpse of what it would look like to wake up every day and not wonder, not dream. No, thanks. I’m glad to be alive. I’m glad that I can read and write. I’m glad that I have a computer on which to write. I’m glad that I have a comfortable couch on which to write. I’m glad for the peace that comes in the morning so I can think …

It feels good to be back.

What are you glad about today?