I am so excited! This is the first time I have ever typed something using the correct keyboarding techniques-you know, with my fingers properly placed on the home keys.

This is no big deal to any of you, but it is a huge accomplishment for me. I have managed to get through high school, four years of undergrad as an English writing major, three years of law school and ten years working in professional office settings without knowing how to type. The only times that others know this about me is because I tell them, but only long after I have established that I am competent in my role. (I once revealed this on the front end, and my supervisor immediately questioned whether I would be able to handle the work if my typing skills weren’t up to par.)

How have I managed this feat? Well, I just coped using the fingers God gave me, and honed my own system so that I could effectively accomplish my tasks well. You might think that I could be more productive if I typed faster, but my colleagues will attest to the fact that I am speedy for a two-fingered typist! They even had me complete a typing test so they could gauge how many words I could type and to see my technique.

So how did I get to this place where I am only learning to type properly? I could claim to have grown up in Mississippi and received my primary and secondary education there, and many of you would give me a pass and say, “Well, that explains it.” But that would do an injustice to a state that provided me with a wonderful education. During my senior year, I dropped out of my keyboarding class to serve as a teacher’s assistant instead. I opted for the immediate gratification of having a free period for one semester of high school over gaining an essential skill that would have aided me for the rest of my life in. Not the wisest decision ever made, but over time, I chose to remain a part of the “non-typing world” because I was embarrassed that I didn’t have the basic knowledge that many elementary children have now and I wanted everyone to assume I did.

The catalyst for wanting to learn now is that I don’t like the notion that fear has been my primary obstacle. I’m more than slightly annoyed by the amount of time it took me to write this than had I reverted to my two-finger strategy, but learning anything new requires substantial time and patience so I’m working on it.

However if I get tired and decide to give up, I bet a circus would hire me. There must be an audience somewhere willing to pay to see an adult in the technological age type with two fingers, right?