Just today, I was asked for coaching resources to help one our staff improve her presentation skills. Apparently, she fell prey to those filler words-um, uh, like-that distract an audience from hearing the core message. I felt very comfortable providing the needed resources to help this individual forever eliminate those little non-words from her vocabulary.

Yet, a few hours later, while attending a baby shower for a colleague, I was asked the million dollar question, “So, Nhung, when are you planning on having another one?” My eloquent response? “Why, uh, um, yes, thank you for asking. I would love another cup of punch!” As a woman still in my child-bearing years, I should anticipate that this question would be asked at a baby shower, but I felt wholly unprepared for it and could not string a coherent thought together.

There are six primary reasons that presenters use filler words:

1. Lack of preparation
2. Need to fill the silence
3. Stalling
4. Discomfort
5. Over-thinking
6. Unawareness

I am fully aware that I used filler words during the baby shower for reasons 1-5. I am rarely searching for words. Just ask my husband. He is constantly amazed by how much I can talk and at a moment’s notice. However, this question befuddles me. I don’t know when I’m having another child. I don’t know if I’m having another child. And, yes, this is the same answer I give my five-year old when she asks why she doesn’t have siblings. She knows how much I love my siblings and could not live without them. I would love to answer in the affirmative when she turns heavenwards and prays, “Dear God, please send me a sister or brother. I don’t really care which one you send. I’ll take either.”

What do you say to that?

Right. You say, “Um…well…you see…like…here’s the thing…”