I’m not being facetious. That was Lexi’s battle cry last week. Despite my efforts to have her “chill” and watch television or engage in something non-school related, she was determined to finish her homework and upon completing it, she asked me for more.

At first, I thought about arguing with her and laying out reasons for why she needed to rest her mind from the rigors of schoolwork. Then I remembered that she was in the first grade. It’s not that rigorous. I let her knock herself out with more homework. She wanted to write her spelling words down ten times each. Her homework sheet only read “study spelling words.” I told her five times for the hard words was sufficient and not to worry about writing the ones she already knew, but she thought that was crazy talk. “Mommy, even if I already know it, writing it down ten times will only help me remember it more.”

Okay, you win.

“Can you make up some math problems for me?” Ok. “Can I work on reading on the computer?” Ok. That went on for about an hour and a half before she called it quits.

I didn’t really know what to make of it. I have spent the last five years listening to friends and co-workers with school-age children lament the tortures of homework and the onus it places upon the family each day. I remember one working mom tell me that her second grader spent 2-3 hours on homework each night, and I used to wonder where I was going to find an extra 2-3 hours at the end of the day to help Lexi with her work. All I could think about was how helping her with her reading skills would limit the time I had to read myself!

An article in the paper yesterday further explored the negative impact homework has on the family dynamic. It was a letter written by a mother of two children, one of whom is starting first grade next week. The mother’s greatest concern was the time constraints that homework would put on the family’s already tight schedule. Both of her children play soccer with practices in the afternoon and with dinner and bath time after that, there was very little time left to focus on homework. She had already spoken with some neighborhood moms, and learned that one mother had “advocated” for her children by speaking with the principal and teachers and laying out an argument as to why her children should be exempt from completing homework due to the possible negative impact on their home life.

Hogwash. That’s what I thought of the article. It ran in a national paper so there was a part of me that was frustrated that this was going to be read by many. How does this mother know it will impact her or her children negatively? School hasn’t started yet. Why is this mother considering the option of speaking to school administrators for a homework exception without yet knowing whether her child benefits from the homework?

How would it have come across to Lexi had I told her she couldn’t do any more homework because a child asking for more homework isn’t normal, that across the country most kids disliked homework and that playtime was more valuable at that moment than extra studying? I know how she would have felt. She would have felt crushed that I dismissed her request. She doesn’t care whether millions of children hate homework. That has no impact on whether she should be allowed to take on more.

She just wants to know that her individual needs matter.

I wonder how often our [parents’] attitudes about certain topics impact our children. With this subject of homework, is it possible that some children dislike it because they hear us talk about the negative impact on our schedule? Do they hear us moan about when we’re going to have the time to sit and help them with it? Recently, Lexi told me she doesn’t want to drive when she grows up because the insurance and gas costs too much money. I wonder where she would have picked up that negative vibe from??

Like other topics we discuss here, there is no easy solution that works for all. What I do know is that we are headed for trouble when we question advocating against our children doing homework because it disrupts the sports/play/home schedule. Based on the recent Olympics, the US isn’t hurting in the area of play. We are seriously hurting in the area of education though.

So does your child need more, less or no homework? I have no idea. You’re the expert on your child.
I can tell you one thing though. I will not be doing science projects for my daughter…even if she forgets to do it and gets a failing grade. To some of my mom friends, please stop the insanity by NOT doing your children’s homework for them. That will easily save you 2-3 hours!