In recent weeks, I have made some significant, life-altering decisions. Namely, I am leaving my job, one that has brought me tremendous joy, has allowed me to impact the lives of others and within an environment where I work with professional colleagues that care about me as a person and not just an employee. So, I am leaving this “once upon a time dream” job …and I have no idea what comes next.

Scratch all that. That is starting to sound as though I’ve having a “George Banks, Father of the Bride” type moment where I go searching for my lost self by drastically changing my appearance, investing in expensive toys that never mattered to me before, and ending up in jail because I was belligerent with a store clerk over the fact that hot dog buns come in packs of 12 when hot dogs only come in packs of 8. (That hot dog thing is a scam!)

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to stop what you’re doing and go watch the movie. I’m normally one to go with the original black-and-white version of movies, but the more current version with Steve Martin is truly a classic.

Okay so back to this issue of whether I am experiencing a midlife crisis. Initially, I was peeved when asked this by a colleague, but then I started reflecting on it and realized how often and carelessly that phrase is used in reference to individuals who make life-altering decisions. I looked up the characteristics of a midlife crisis and found through an amazingly reliable source called Wikipedia these characteristics:

Individuals experiencing a midlife crisis have some of these feelings:
• search of an undefined dream or goal
• a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
• a fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues
• desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
• need to spend more time alone or with certain peers.

This is definitive proof that I am NOT having a midlife crisis because I feel none of these things! And I’m in my early 30’s so I’m not willing to concede that I’m even close to “midlife.” But let me further analyze these characteristics because over-analyzing is what I love to do.

1. Search of an undefined dream or goal: I may not know exactly where or what I’ll be doing in a month much less years, but that doesn’t make my dream undefined. When I gave notice, I knew very well that I was striving towards a goal of spending the rest of my life serving others in need throughout the world. That is not an undefined dream. I just know that it can take many different forms so I am not wedded to it looking like one job, one role.

2. A deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished: I have no regrets or remorse for not having accomplished goals up until this point. I try to live every day as though I won’t have another so I feel blessed beyond all measure for having had the opportunity to accomplish the goals I have and to impact the individuals I did.

3. A fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues: Wow. I don’t know what to say about that one. It’s just not a feeling that I have. I can’t say I sit gauge myself against others’ successes. Each individual has such a diverse definition for what it means to be successful or effective. I can only define it for myself and strive towards that. Otherwise, I would be subjected to the opinions of others, and I don’t want to live that way.

4. A desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness: My name is Nhung. It’s pronounced “young,” which means that I will be “young” forever! I don’t need to make life-altering decisions to achieve that. No, seriously, this one makes me laugh. The most youthful people I know who have a zest and energy for life are at least 30-40 years older than I am. They are the image I hold of what it means to live life fully.

5. Need to spend more time alone or with certain peers: I definitely am not looking to isolate myself. In fact, I want to experience more of the world and engage in relationships with individuals on every corner of the map because by learning about them, I learn how similar we all are and that we truly are neighbors who need each other.

So there you have it. My thesis on all the ways I’m not having a midlife crisis. But…if I am, it’s a beautiful experience that everyone should have it causes us to reflect on what matters most to us in life…and then just do it.