Mother’s Day was full of the warm and fuzzies of having my child smother me in hugs and kisses while showering me with nine gifts and cards she had made during the past week. Nine! I promise I’m not bragging. I am saying this because I felt very loved by my little girl and never doubt her love and affection for me.

So when she told me later on Mother’s Day that I’m not nice, I didn’t take it personally. Here’s how it played out.

We were gathered around the dinner table sharing thoughts and reminiscing about the good ole days when Lexi was a baby. (Don’t you love how a five-year-old even has good ole days??) I’m not sure how we got on the topic of desired human traits, but I asked Lexi if she thought her daddy was nice.

“Oh, yes, Mommy!” She was nodding her vigorously as well to let me know she felt pretty emphatic about this. Lexi, how do you know your daddy is nice?

“Mommy, I watch him and can see him.”

Oh, well, do you think your mommy is nice?

(The pause lasted for about five seconds but seemed to stretch longer.)

Ummm…Lexi, is your mommy nice? Lexi responded with a slow head nod. How do you I’m nice? “I don’t know, mommy.”

My husband loved this interchange by the way, and why wouldn’t he? I laughed, too, because Lexi knows how to push the right buttons because she’s an imp. Her coy smile let me know I had been tricked.

But she wasn’t that far off base. My husband truly is one of the kindest individuals I know. I’m not a troll, but in comparison, I would have to side with my daughter’s assessment. I think back on all of the compliments I have ever received about my husband from others, and it’s consistent across the board. The word “kind” is always one of the top three traits they mention.

I can certainly attest to that myself. I remember during our dating days how he would come and pick me up from college and take me grocery shopping because I didn’t have a car. But he lived a good 25 minutes away and would drive to see me during rush hour traffic every day, which meant that it sometimes took him 45 minutes just to come pick me up. I know others might say, “That’s what you do for love,” but these moments of kindness are not periodic for him. They occur multiple times on a daily basis.

It’s the way he brings me a cup of coffee when I’m getting ready. It’s the way, he goes in to volunteer with a non-profit even on days they don’t call him. It’s the way he speaks gently even when venting, unlike yours truly, who is very expressive when happy, sad, angry, etc…

I’m nice, but not nice the way my husband is. So when Lexi responded so quickly about his kindness and said she knew by watching him, I understood exactly what she meant. Kindness is as normal to breathing to him. I want to be that way.

When was the last time someone extended kindness to you with no expectation of anything in return?