Recently, I attended a conference in Orlando, FL.(I know…the hardships of work are often unbearable.) In the midst of the preparation and conference itself, we had a half-day reprieve and could do what we wished with that time. My boss and colleagues commenced with holding an impromptu meeting at the pool and water-slide, but I opted to stay in my hotel room-doing my taxes.

I assure you that I was quite content. In jest, my boss indicated that he was puzzled as to how he had hired an individual who-given the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine and beautiful background of Orlando, FL-would choose to remain indoors and consort with the IRS! My husband asked the same question, but he knows me well enough to understand why I do what I do. I attempted to explain that while I love people, the idea of being at a conference with 2000 people for 8-10 hours a day for an entire week mentally exhausted me. So given the opportunity to “hide” for an entire afternoon away from people was a blessing. I’m not sure it adequately conveyed my thoughts.

When I returned from the conference, I pulled out my Meyers Briggs results again and found this paragraph:

“INFJs (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging) are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible.”

This is how I’d really like to respond when someone looks at me and says, “I don’t get you.” As stated above, I am genuinely interested in people and can engage in conversation for hours. Verbally expressing myself is not a challenge, but internally for me, there is a price to pay for doing so. It drains me so I deliberately withdraw from the world and those I love at various times throughout the day, throughout the week. Being in isolation and peace is how I rejuvenate. This is why I prefer driving in a car by myself-so that I can be in perfect silence and not have my thoughts and reflections interrupted by excess noise of a radio. (By the way, I married a radio DJ. Think about how that worked out at times!)

Please don’t wonder whether I’m faking my response or enthusiasm when we talk. Don’t worry about whether I’m trying to plan my escape route to get away from you while we’re engrossed in conversation. At that moment, that is exactly where I want to be. Just understand that when the discussion ends, I might very much need to go to a quiet place for a while. If you try to talk to me during this time, I will most likely be curt and non-responsive. Recognize that I am deep in thought and don’t feel hurt by it. It’s not personal.

If you need further proof, ask my dear family. I just had five days of vacation and used much of that time catching up on 19th century British literature.

I’m re-charged and am ready to engage with the world once again.