I’m a practical gal. I don’t need cards, presents, or wrapping paper. Please don’t misunderstand me. I love the sentiment that cards, presents and wrapping paper represent, but I don’t feel any less loved if my birthday comes, and I don’t receive a card. I don’t feel any less loved if you leave me off the Christmas card mailing list. I don’t feel any less loved if my husband doesn’t buy me flowers and candy on Valentine’s. In fact, I’d prefer that he not get me flowers. Flowers are beautiful! They are, but I can’t keep them alive, and they die. That seems tragic to me…and they’re not a good use of resources.

The best gifts I have ever received from my husband have been a Kitchen Aid mixer, baking toolkit and a new set of nonstick pots and pans. Ten years ago, we initiated a “no-card-no wrapping paper” policy in our house. It’s just not necessary. Call me frugal. Call me unromantic. I just appreciate gifts that I can use. But, here’s the thing. There are so many people in my life that I care about who enjoy giving cards, who enjoy giving gifts and who thoroughly enjoy wrapping those gifts. It brings them joy.

I’m facilitating a workshop this week for supervisors across our organization and was sitting at dinner sharing my stance on all things cards, gifts, and wrapping paper. There was a moment of silence before one individual shared that she had made a note to send me a thank you card upon flying home but that it no longer seemed relevant since it wouldn’t mean anything to me. I’m such a jerk! Here’s someone who wanted to show appreciation by making me a personal thank you note, and I told her that I’m not a cards/gifts kind of person. See…her just saying that she wanted to send a thank you card meant the world to me. If she never sends me one, I won’t feel any less appreciated.

I need to learn to receive cards and gifts graciously because the giver puts care and thought into the gesture and it makes them happy. I need not be such a Scrooge about accepting them because while it’s true that I don’t need those things…they are lovely.

Okay…and because we’re on the subject of my practicality and being a jerk, I can share my ultimate moment of “jerkiness.” When my husband got down on one knee and proposed twelve years ago, my immediate response wasn’t “yes.” I said (gulp), “Honey, you gotta get up! You’re getting your new pants all dirty.”

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I’m a jerk. But…I hear Valentine’s Day is coming up so I have a chance to redeem myself...I hope. What about you?

How do you feel about cards and gifts?