There. I said it. And, no, I didn’t come to this epiphany moment today.  Contrary to what others may believe, I have a high level of awareness around my faults.  And while everyone does have blind spots, this quality is not one that has blind-sided me.  I appreciate those at work who have attempted to lesson the blow by suggesting that I “be less intense” or advise that I take on a relaxing hobby, such as yoga.

I realize that I am anal retentive around many things. I like things to be a certain way.  That level of certainty, determination, and perseverance can be a lovely set of traits in both my professional and personal life. Except when it’s not.

Last night, I asked my husband to make me a cd with Christmas songs on it. Classic Christmas songs.  He proceeded to play multiple Christmas songs-all of which were classics-only to have me say, “Nope. That’s not what I have in mind.”  After a few rounds of this, the poor man had had enough of me, and said, “I have no idea what you want.  You asked for classics, and I’m playing them, but they’re still not what you want.”  He was absolutely right.  His statement sums up how I feel so often when my end in mind isn’t shared by everyone else.  I feel frustrated.  Repeat cycle.

Then my daughter reminded me again this morning that my professional degree in AR (Anal Retentiveness) is neither deemed credible or impressive to her.  I was again reminding her about the need to “put first things first” and take care of the essential tasks in preparation for school so she wouldn’t be late.  We are never close to being late.  By her school’s standards, tardiness is arriving after 8:30 a.m. However, I prefer that she be at the front of the school door no later than 8:15 a.m. because that’s when the bell rings, and if I’m being really honest here, I would prefer that she be there by 8:10 a.m.  Just in case.

I was in the middle of saying, “We’re going to be la--” when she cut me off, and stated, “No, we are not. And if we are, that’s okay. Lots of people are late.  It’s going to happen sometime. It’s okay.” Then she walked off to get ready.  It really was one of her finer moments.

Apparently, I need some refresher courses in the art of “not freaking out or being intense about everything.” I’m pretty sure I could get tuition reimbursement for that at work since it’s a highly coveted leadership trait.