If you could earn degrees in assumption-making, I'd have a doctorate fifty times over. A conversation in the car with my five-year-old confirmed this and reminded me why I should never make assumptions.

Assumption #1: Never assume that all children look forward to summer vacation.

Lexi is not. She asked me whether there are any schools that stay open all the time. “Why do we have to have summer vacation? Why can’t it just be the weekend or regular vacation? I still want to learn. I need to go to school every day, mommy. I want my birthday not to be in the summer. I want it to be during the school year.” And the truth comes out.

Assumption #2: Never assume that your child isn’t fully aware of the bad words…just because you don’t say it.

One fact about me is that I have never cursed in my life. Now, I never said I hadn’t thought the words, but I have never uttered them out loud. And, I realize that Lexi doesn’t live in a bubble so it shouldn’t shock me that she knows curse words. But I was shocked when she told me that two of her classmates had gotten in trouble for repeatedly saying the “h” and “sh” words. Not shocked that other kids had said them, but that my daughter was now aware of those words and could possibly use them with ease. She tried to comfort me by saying, “It’s okay, mommy. I don’t use the “h” and “sh” words, but the boys in class say them all the time!”

Assumption #3: Never assume you know what the bad words are.

I was trying to move the conversation along, but Lexi was clearly interested in analyzing it further. I wonder where she gets that from? But she continued by sharing what happened in class when the boys use the “h” and “sh” words, and how her teacher didn’t like to hear them. Then she said, “Mommy, I know you don’t like them either because you always skip over the “h” and “sh” words when you’re reading me bedtime stories.” Ummm…what? “Mommy, I know that’s why you don’t like Junie B. Jones as much-because she’s always saying the “h” and “sh” words.

Hahaha…yes, Lexi, yes she does. Junie B. Jones is notorious for saying she “hates” something and telling others to “shut up.” And I do skip over those words when I’m reading those stories to Lexi!

Assumption #4: Never assume you understand children…your own or anyone else’s.

I was so thankful that the bad words weren’t the bad words I thought they were because that meant Lexi was innocent in that regard. As much as I love the stories Lexi shares about school, I’m ready for her to have a break from some of her classmates. Is that a horrible thing to say?? Just when I was thinking what a bad person I was for thinking that, Lexi asks me, “Mommy, have you ever tasted bird poop?” No, Lexi, I can’t say that I have. Why do you ask? “Because one of the boys got on the ground and licked the bird poop at school. I was just wondering.”

Nope. Don’t feel bad anymore. We are officially ready for summer break.

Are you?