“Watch out for Balls” reads the sign in the private, ocean-front, golf-course that I pass through on my long runs. In addition to posting a sensible fear, this sign is also a signal for me to literally speed up.  My mom’s best friend was once struck in the hand by a golf-ball as she ran through this course. Her hand swelled and was black and blue for weeks. The warning sign reminds me to train at varying intervals and not be lulled by the beautiful scenery into a slow trot. I also speed up because I want to get home to my daughter sans nasty bruises or concussions; and the faster I run, the sooner I will see her.

Katherine Hepburn occupied this neighborhood for many years, and she too gives me great inspiration, an incredible athlete at a time when women were supposed to “glow”.  The actress Kate Blanchette portrays Hepburn so well in the movie Aviator when she exclaims to her boyfriend Howard Hughes, “well I sweat damn-it!”  Hepburn was an amazing working woman, and she reminds me of the importance of my daughter’s role models who are not mothers. Working women, whether or not they are mothers often take on so many responsibilities beyond their jobs.  Women are amazing jugglers of multiple responsibilities. I am thankful for all of the women in my daughter’s life who will show her that there are so many paths that can be taken.  I am fortunate that I am able to be a mom with a career who also gets to be a competitive athlete. 

If you read this week’s Time Magazine cover-story by Lauren Sadler called “The Childfree Life”, you will be exposed to the debate about the child free life style and how our society has changed mostly for women in their 30’s and 40’s. When my own mother adopted me back in 1976, one in ten women over age forty had never had a child. In 2010, the year that I became a mother, one in five women over forty had never given birth.  Despite increased societal pressure to become a mother, compared to my own mother, I am twice as likely to have a close friend who has never had a child. Some critics mourn the falling birth rate as signaling the destruction of the traditional family.  From where I sit I know many “child free” women who have greatly impacted the lives of children in their own communities and abroad. In some cases these women have provided financial support to children whom they never even met, thanks to their choice of more male-dominated and better compensated professions.

I know that my daughter benefits from, and will continue to learn from our close friends who are not mothers.  I am confident as Annie’s primary role model, and eternally grateful for the loving and diverse village counted as part of our family. As you can see, Annie enjoys running on the beach with my strong, working-mom role model, my mom Judi.