How many times have you written an email, text message or sent any message using a form of electronics; where the message was immediately sent, without spell check? When you look back at the message, you call yourself all sorts of grammatically challenged names. You laugh and may even send a message to append to the last message, with changes. You may even follow up with a phone call. In some cases you wish you never sent it.

So what about that messages you sent that you wish you could take back, because some of the horrible things you have said or insinuated. We have all heard the sage advice about sending messages when we are mad. The rule is to wait until you are calm, and then revisit the email to write. Something I exercise is drafting the email but saving it instead of sending. That way, I have what I truly want to say, off my chest and I can sleep and think, at least. When I am calmer-and I feel like I want to say exactly that, I press send or I edit to change the tone but still make my point.

This can be practiced in the workplace, between managers and subordinates, as well as relationships between friends, dating relationship or marriage, separation or divorce.

This brings me to the point of a wonderful resource online that was created for co-parents; that assist in communication between the parties with interest for the child. Our Family Wizard, Also known as OFW; provides an additional measure called a “tone monitor” that is used when messages are sent between parties, which edits for the obvious. (Tone) This feature checks your messages just as a spell check or grammar function would. It picks up on additional exclamation points capitalization of words, letters, or bold print words. This is a priceless feature when learning how to communicate with someone without using curse words, or setting belligerent tones that ultimately ruin communication. When negative tone is detected in a message you are trying to send, the tone monitor gives you an indication and an alternative to recheck.

When parents, whether one or both have a non-existing ability to communicate cordially, this is a healthy alternative to make sure communication is established for the sake of the child. You do not have to talk to each other; at least until the both of you can come to a point of mediocrity. This tool provides a place for information about your child to be shared such as Dr. Appointments, sicknesses, illnesses, allergies, accidents, day care, child care providers, visitation request, holiday request, special vacation dates, as well as growth milestones, sizes and contact address, phone numbers and any changes. There is a place for short messages and email. There is a calendar to keep record of important dates. In the email and message function, you can write privately to the other parent or include everyone such as the grandparents. The grandparents sign up for free and are able to also go online anytime to check the clothing or shoe size for the child if they should decide to purchase anything and send to your child. The most convenient feature about this resource is that it also comes in an app for your smart phone for easy sign in. There is no excuse for non-communication or for anyone to say they didn’t know something or didn’t get the message. It forces an effective relationship and has a tab for anything you can think of that you would need to share with the other parent, all the way down to expenses. This tool truly has the child’s interest.

These tools do not have to become the way of life between two parents or care givers for children by replacing them with a computer.  It should simply be used as the bridge to something cohesive that is needed for your child. The point is to work toward a healthy relationship. Since communication is the core, you have to establish that first and foremost. If using something such as the OFW will assist with that, it should be the least you are willing to do for your child.