I’m searching in Life’s Lost and Found for something dear to me. Perhaps you can help.

She’s a Black female, last seen around 2005 wearing high heel shoes one size smaller than the size she wears now (the same goes for other garments not to be named). She was a driven little firecracker, oblivious and naïve about the life transformation awaiting her in Motherhood…

I realized I needed to find her after a recent conversation with my spiritual mother and mentor, Dr. Marcia Bailey. I asked this dynamic wife, co-pastor, mother of four and grandmother of two for advice on how not to lose myself while serving as a wife, mother, daughter, employee, etc.

She responded, “Do what fills your cup. What are your hobbies?”

I paused and thought, “Oh that’s simple: laundry, grocery shopping, poop clean-up and Medicaid research! Oh… Wait a minute… Those are not hobbies? Ummm…”

“I don’t know…” I whispered and hung my head in shame.

Dr. Marcia comforted me, “Well it just means you need to take the time to rediscover yourself. Who were you and what did you like to do before you were a mother, for example?”

Distant memories of cross-stitching and creative writing surfaced as she spoke. She also stressed the importance of edifying and meaningful relationships with other women.

I left the conversation determined to rediscover me.  Knowing how important it is to act on a decision within 24 hours, I’m journaling this blog entry right now. I know that writing is not only fulfilling but therapeutic for me, but I manage to talk myself out of sitting down to write because there are so many other things I could be doing with my time, for others of course. But no more. I set a weekly appointment on my calendar for “Keyboard Therapy.”

We all know motherhood is the most selfless job on Earth, but selflessness does not equate to martyrdom. It’s easy to lose ourselves in caring for our husbands, children, parents, goldfish or Chia pet, but make the decision today to love yourself more so you can have within you the capacity to love everyone who is depending on you.

That’s all for now. I’m headed out for some retail therapy in a bit. My first stop will be at a ladies clothing store to purchase a gift card… for ME. It may sound pathetic, but it works. White House Black Market and Loft don’t sell size seven in girls or 18 months in boys.