I just read an article in the Wall Street Journal about a study that was done on US Middle Class Families.  There was research done on how middle class families raise their children in the US vs other countries.  The basic results were that there is a "child-centered focus" which creates a dependency dilema.  Although we want our children to be independent, we do so many things for them that they are actually very dependent.  I am guilty!

My son takes advantage of me and I let him.  I don't know if it is because I know I work and travel and only have a small amount of time with him.  Or if it is because if I do certain things for him I know it will get things done quicker and make my life easier.  Or if it is because I know I am going to have too little time of him needing me, so I like to make sure I am there to do the things I know he is capable of, but it makes my time with him a little more special.  Actually, it's not an either/or situation, it is an all of the above situation.

He gets away with a lot more from me than he does with his father.  I coddle him.  I snuggle him.  I dote on him.  He is my little boy and my heart melts every time I see him.  And my heart melts every time I see he needs help or is having a hard time with something.  And I really can't stand to see any other child be mean to him!

I say all this and I am sure that people are jumping to the worst conclusion that he does nothing for himself.  And that is simply not true.  He does have a huge independent nature and we have always tried to encourage that.  However, there is a lot of dependency dilema in our house and it is because of me!

It will be interesting how things will change when the new little sister arrives.  It will be interesting to see the dynamics of how I handle her versus him.  And even more interesting will be seeing how her Daddy handles her.  I am pretty sure that the roles will be reversed as soon as she arrives!

Why does it seem like parents can do nothing right now?  I don't consider myself a helicopter parent.  But I do know that society has created helicopter parents with the rules, guidelines and restrictions that are in place to do

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legitimate and some non legitimate fears.  And I am the parent that typically shakes my head at parents that are overprotective.  I am often caught up saying "Let a kid be a kid!"