As a parent, you have hopes and dreams for your child. If you’re like most moms (or dads), you want your child to be happy, healthy, and have opportunities to learn and explore his or her interests.

I want all of these things for my daughter. But on the practical side, I also have some financial hopes for her. My hopes are that she doesn’t fall into an abyss of student debt, or fall victim to the lure of credit cards and spending sprees. These hopes are tied into questions I ask myself every day. Will I be able to pay for medical expenses? How do I start saving for her education? What lessons should I be teaching her about money?

This last one is really the kicker. I got to thinking about my financial legacy over the weekend. Michelle Singletary, the syndicated columnist of “The Color of Money” in the Washington Post, reviewed a book titled, How To Be Richer, Smarter and Better-Looking Than Your Parents. It’s written by 23-year old Zac Bissonette, who seems to have some pretty sound ideas about saving money.

Let me first come out and say that I will never surpass my parents in any of the three areas Bissonette mentions in his title. And I’m okay with that. My daughter is already way cuter than me, and I’m pretty sure that she’s smarter (she is very advanced at almost a year old). I’m not terribly concerned with riches, but I would like my daughter to avoid debt, and learn to manage her money well. And I’ve realized that it’s up to my husband and me to teach her these lessons.

In her Sunday column, Singleton refers to Bissonette as “an old financial soul.” He advocates paying off debt quickly, and avoiding extraneous gadgets and toys that pop culture deems essential (to me this means phones that do more than make phone calls and things of that nature). This, in some ways, feels counterintuitive to parenting. So often we fall into the trap of equating “stuff” with happiness. Who among us hasn’t gone overboard with gifts for our kids at the holidays or a birthday? We do this because we love our kids, and want to make them happy.

I’m not advocating eliminating birthday presents or anything like that. But I had a funny experience yesterday. I was at my sister’s house, and my nephew proudly showed me a Kindle Fire that he had saved up for, and purchased with his own money (maybe he should have the money talk with my daughter). I told him it was really cool, and he went off to play with it. About fifteen minutes later, he came downstairs with an enormous cardboard box, and – you guessed it – started to play with that. So maybe Bissonette has a point about the need for “stuff.”

I guess what I’m getting at is that we can’t just tell our kids how to be good with money. We have to show them. To me, this means prioritizing spending, and incorporating the occasional treat (after all, Mother’s Day is this Sunday!).

So maybe it’s time to have that budget talk that you and your spouse have been putting off, or to sit down and analyze your spending. For me, this means looking at my finances through the point of view of what I want for my children when they grow up, instead of what I want or think I need for myself.