Anyone who has ever been in a long-distance relationship knows how difficult it can be to maintain. Exchanging emails, texts, and even chatting “live” via Skype often leaves people feeling more isolated from their loved ones. And while many couples make distance work, so many relationships fail as a result of it.

But what about when the relationship isn’t with a significant romantic other – what if it’s with your family?

I come from very close-knit family, though geographically we are scattered from Pennsylvania to Maine to Italy. I grew up in an area of Pennsylvania where generations within a family would often remain local. Many attended college out of state, but returned for work and to settle down with their own children. There were exceptions of course, including my own family, but for the most part the family unit had nested. Similarly, when I began teaching at a rural school district in Maine, I was struck by how many students were cousins, or whose parents and sometimes grandparents had attended the same school. This phenomenon both intrigued and mystified me. As a self-proclaimed wanderer, I have never been one to stay put for long.

But now I’m a mother – talk about changing the whole ballgame. Having family around for support and memory-making when you have kids just feels essential to me. I’m a firm believer that my daughter needs to know her history, from where (and whom) she came. Yet my parents live seven driving hours away, and traveling isn’t all that easy, not to mention affordable.

So many friends I know are in a similar predicament. They’ve built a life in one place, but they are far from parents, siblings or close friends. The thought of their children not really knowing these important people in their lives is sometimes heart-wrenching, and yet moving doesn’t feel like an option. Who wants – or more appropriately, who can afford – to give up a job in this economic climate?

For most of us, where we live isn’t a matter of choice – or at least, it doesn’t feel like a conscious choice. Our jobs, or our spouse’s jobs, dictate where we live and often how we live.

Hmmm…when put that way, it just doesn’t seem right. Putting a job or career in a position to make choices for us? I wonder how often that is the case. If given the choice and money was not a concern, how many of us would live in the same place?

For several years I lived in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Jackson is a small town with a permanent population of about nine thousand people, and a lot of seasonal folks who come to ski or mountain bike or fish. It is a special place for many reasons, but the one that always struck me is that everyone who lives there really wants to live there. For the most part they are not there because of a career, or school – they are making sacrifices to lead a certain way of life.

I wonder, how many of us would do the same? How many of us would sacrifice to be close to family? To ensure that our children know the generations that came before them, and where and how they lived? Or are we sacrificing family for a different way of life, perhaps one that we believe is better?

I have no answer to this dilemma. Each time we drive the seven hours from my parents’ house to our own I wish we lived closer. Every time I have to rely on the computer screen to see my brother and his family, I wish there wasn’t an ocean that separated us. And as for my husband and our daughter…well, like I said I’m a wanderer. Who know where our family will end up?

What’s your opinion? How important is it to you to live near family or your closest friends?