I have a confession to make: I am a perfectionist. I like to do things right, and do them well, and I force myself to be the best I can be at whatever the task at hand.

So what’s wrong with that, some may ask? Nothing – it’s good to push yourself, and want to do things well. For many of us, this is our nature – the nature of success. But is there a point where it all becomes too much? When you lose sight of why you do what you do? When your focus becomes more about being or looking perfect than believing in what you are doing?  

I believe that there is a breaking point. The trick is to find it before you break.

Until recently, I considered myself a sort of serial career changer. I’d decide on a professional path, pursue it as perfectly as I possibly could for a few years, and then burn out. The vicious cycle started while I was still in college, interning at a newspaper. This was back in the day, before interning was ubiquitous and necessary. I later worked for a publishing house, wrote for various newspapers and public relations offices. I was on track, ahead of schedule.

And then I stopped. I had no more drive to find the story, get the interview, scoop the competition. I turned elsewhere.

I turned to the wellness industry – specifically the spa business and merchandising. But the same thing happened. After three years I lost the desire to make my commissions, acquire new accounts. I turned elsewhere.

This time I decided to try teaching, because I loved working with kids, and it seemed logical. But after getting my masters’ degree, with my perfect GPA, and putting my soul into the classroom for four years it happened again. The constant pursuit of perfection squelched any satisfaction or pride I had in my work. I couldn’t keep trying to be the perfect teacher, the perfect salesperson, the perfect journalist. It wasn’t me. I had perfectionism down, but the key ingredient was missing. I had lost my passion. And I didn’t know where to turn.

Lucky for me, there is magic in motherhood. Over the past eight months, I’ve grown to know my daughter Isabel, and I’ve also gotten to know myself as a mother. And somewhere on this journey, I’ve rediscovered my passions.

I like to think I’m a good mother, but I know I have so much to learn. I’m not perfect. And yet I’ve never been as committed to any career as I am to motherhood, never been so confident, never felt so much possibility.

And it has been this possibility that has propelled me toward my next crazy venture. Without me even realizing it, spending time with Isabel somehow revealed all that was missing in my professional life, and helped me focus on what I love to do. And I now subscribe to the belief that in order to be successful, you need to have that piece – both personally and professionally. I’ve channeled this passion for motherhood, and somehow all of my perfectionism fell away to reveal what fits.

I’ve started my own business. I’ve never been so scared or so excited about my career, and I’ve never been so calm about the mistakes that I know are ahead of me. Being imperfect affords me the opportunity to learn – and to admit that I don’t know it all, nor do I need to.

I am lucky. My communications business venture allows me to work from home, and continue to spend time with Isabel. It allows me to be the partner I want to be to my husband, and it allows me to be the version of myself that – however imperfect – feels like the real me.