New moms and pregnant women out there know firsthand about intense cravings. Sometimes the need for something hits you so hard it’s all you can focus on. During my first pregnancy, all I wanted was pizza and ice cream. Pretty much anything else was out of the question for the first five months, and then I slowly started branching out to lasagna and frozen yogurt (daring, I know).

I also found that as a new mom, my cravings continued. Yes, I still wanted pizza and ice cream on a very regular basis, but I started to crave non-food-related things. I started to crave situations and activities: after having a Caesarean and being limited to walks pushing a sixteenth of a mile in distance, I wanted to exercise. Being tethered to my newborn made me crave long solitary outings, to Target or the grocery store, for no particular reason. And of course, sleep deprivation brought on a whole new level of slumber cravings.

Fifteen months later, I find myself still swirling in a sea of cravings. After managing the whirlwind of starting a business and working from home during my daughter’s first year, things started to get a little too calm. I needed something; that feeling of want was back. But I couldn’t put my finger on it.

It hit me three weeks ago. In the span of a few short days I accepted a long-term contract position that I had to learn from scratch, we moved from our home of four years to a new house, and we found out we were expecting our second child.

I think I crave chaos.

This probably isn’t a surprise, as I suspect most women have found themselves in a similar situation. When you finally get things in your life to a point where they’re “in order,” you feel an inexplicable urge to disrupt that order. What challenge is there in order? What is there to work toward? All of our lives we’ve trained ourselves to be goal-oriented people who get things done, and motherhood only enhanced that. Keeping the chaos going, that’s what it’s all about.

Looking back, I think I’ve always had this issue. It’s not that I create problems – no one needs more of those – but in extending my to-do and to-achieve lists, I admit that I do create stress. The feeling of having tasks out there that need to be checked off causes me some anxiety; but I have to say, it also gives me some direction. When you’re your own boss, sometimes you need that.

Not surprisingly, our new house is not the least bit settled. There are boxes stacked in every room, my desk is doing double duty as a laundry processing center, and my husband is without a dresser (his didn’t survive the move) so his plethora of tee shirts decorate our bedroom.

Add to that my occasional nausea, a daughter who decided to reverse her sleeping progress, and a new job that is taking up typical new job amounts of time, and I’ve got a bit of a perfect storm on my hands. Would I have it any other way? I suppose I can think of a few more ideal scenarios. And of course I have to keep my stress level in check to take care of the lime-sized human inside of me. But for now, the chaos craving is keeping me moving – so bring on the pizza and ice cream!