Women’s roles have evolved considerably over the last half a century, not only in society, but in the working and domestic realms as well. We are no longer expected to remain exclusively at home; yet many of us with families and careers are viewed - by ourselves and others - according to how well we balance the two, and excel in both areas. In the following guest post, Mom Corps CEO Allison O’Kelly shares why “having it all” has many definitions, and provides a framework for creating work situations that align with our lives.

Reconciling Work & Life: Alternative Work Options for “Having it All”

In the reverberation initiated by Anne-Marie Slaughter’s Atlanticarticle, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” we read and heard countless personal stories from women (and men) who profoundly agreed, intensely disagreed and had every opinion in between about what she wrote. Some that caught my eye were the ones where the authors shared how their own mothers managed to “have it all” in the 1950’s and 60’s, when strictly defined gender roles kept women at home and far removed from the corporate ladder.

Some fifty years later, women are not so prominently identified by roles as mothers and homemakers. We gladly add our status as leaders of government and of innovative companies into the mix. That’s progress. But sometimes progress comes with a price. As women ascend higher in the ranks and the gender gap continues to narrow (slowly), that price is manifesting as a growing push-and-pull dilemma between work and family. So the idea of “having it all” has changed with the times, but why do we talk about it like it’s so elusive?

Brad Harrington, executive director of the Boston College Center for Work & Family, wrote in the Huffington Post as a response to Slaughter, Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer, and even our recent quest for Olympic gold: “…at what point do we say – ‘This is enough.’ At what point do we realize that we do have it all? At what point do we, who are blessed with good educations and good jobs, grasp that making trade-offs or not reaching the pinnacle in everything isn’t a tragedy, it’s simply reality.” 

You said it. I understand that drive and ambition help us keep improving ourselves and our opportunities. What seems to be off is the definition of having it all – because there isn’t one. At least, there isn’t just one. The mission for completeness means something different to each of us. I feel I have it all (most days anyway), and there are certain key elements that influence that feeling, including my ability to work a flexible schedule.

I find that most professionals have no idea just how many different work styles encompass flexibility.  I still hear from some employees and organizational leaders who think that implementing flexible work options is too “cumbersome,” “unnecessary,” “more trouble than it’s worth,” even “impossible at our company” for a host of reasons.

In reality, flexibility can take on many forms. At Mom Corps, we choose to think of it within the parameters of time, place andduration. This framework gives working parents, and really anyone seeking alternative work arrangements, a sort of a “choose your own adventure” approach. Here are some examples.

Time: A work team decided to extend its workday to offer customers extended availability and allows employees to choose a shift that best suits them; two managers job share a position so the company can capitalize on the ideas and output from two proven employees; everyone gets Half-Day Fridays in the summer.

Place: An employee works two days a week from another office closer to home; the firm can employ a leading industry expert who lives in another state by agreeing on a virtual work arrangement; a department manager has decided that each team member can work from home one day a week and designs a team schedule that everyone helps create.

Duration: A company hires a temporary employee with a specific expertise to fill in for an executive on leave; a leadership team keeps its retiring CEO on a permanent, part-time contract basis leveraging his institutional knowledge; a firm temporarily adds to its accounting/finance department for tax season.

Feel free to use this framework to help identify alternative work arrangements that will get you a step closer to “having it all.” It provides a useful context in which to approach managers and executives at an organization so they understand the various solutions that make up workplace flexibility – and lead to satisfied employees. How has or how would flexibility at work allow you to better define the terms of your life? Have you yet identified what “having it all” looks like for you?

Allison O'Kelly is the founder and CEO of Mom Corps(www.momcorps.com), a national flexible staffing firm dedicated to connecting progressive employers with professionals seeking flexible work options.