There are two more months left before this school year ends. Summer break will come and then my youngest will enter kindergarten, in August.

I’ve mentioned before I’m not the biggest fan of play dates. They just aren’t my thing. Thank goodness, for my little guy, my mother-in-law enjoys them.

One of the reasons I’m currently stepping back, around the corner, and out of site with play dates is due to kindergarten. That seems to be the main topic of conversation.

Where did you get in?

How far down is your kid on the waiting list for X school?

What will you do if he/she has to go to THAT school?

And so on and so on.

I think the open enrollment process makes parents lose their minds a bit. They have a hard time keeping their eyes on their own paper – their paper for their child, family, parenting style, and tools for educating their child. They look over at other parents’ papers – the papers they think have all the right answers.

This is parenting, folks.  There is not one right answer - so there is no need to “cheat”.

A few parents, at my son’s preschool, think I’m so casual about this kindergarten thing because my son is going to the “best” school, we aren’t on a wait list, I’m an educator, my oldest is already at the best school…and all of that “you’ve got it so good” rhetoric.

I understand where these parents are coming from and I understand they want the best for their children. It is our jobs, as parents, to take care of our children – but not in a way that will make us crazy and create unnecessary self-doubt. (Daily parenting and being out in the world does enough of that already.)

When the conversation starts to go down that road, I gently put up my yield sign and ask the following questions:

• As the first teacher of your child, how would you describe your “home learning environment”?
• How do you envision a school/teacher supporting the teaching you are already doing in your “home learning environment”?
• Based on what you teach in your home, how do you want child’s time at school to be similar or different?
• What scares you the most about your son/daughter going to kindergarten? Does this stem from your own K-12 experience?

These questions start a richer conversation – a conservation that is productive, inquiry based, and honest. Parents start to focus on what’s coming up for them and their families – and they are no longer peeking at anyone else’s “parenting paper”, and the competitiveness subsides.

How do you handle conversations – with other parents – that turn competitive?

What are you doing to prepare yourself for your child to enter kindergarten?

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