Say what you will about family gatherings.  Some truly look forward to spending time with their beloved kin.  Others might have less kind adjectives to describe the meeting of their genetically-related and that is all cohabitants of the earth.  For me, I enjoy seeing my family.  I really do.  However, I am less enthusiastic to gather when Mother Nature forces her hand and a loved one is lost.

Last Saturday, I attended a special gathering to honor my great aunt who had died after a long battle with ovarian cancer.  She was a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, a friend, and a wife to my great uncle for 52 years.  She was quiet, yet complex; gentle, yet profound.  And because her family did not want to mourn her death, they threw a dance party to celebrate her life.

      You see, she was a dancer.  Not the kind that performs, but the kind that feels the music and goes with it.  We sat as family and friends shared their memories about her and each one included a description of her dancing.  My favorite story was shared by her son, in which he described how, as they were boarding a cruise ship, they happened to pass a Caribbean band who was welcoming the passengers.  They all carried on, trying to get to their rooms.  But, after a few minutes, they realized that mom was no longer with them.  All they had to do was turn around, and there she was – luggage in hand – dancing by herself in front of the band.  It didn’t matter what type of music it was, as long as it was music.  Because, for them, dancing was synonymous with mother, they determined that the best way to honor her memory and feel her spirit was to dance.  

But, before the DJ took the lead and we hit the dance floor, my great uncle got up to say a few words.  He thanked everyone for coming and continued to share his own story about his daily tradition with his bride.  Every morning at 9am, no matter where they were or what type of mood they were in, they made sure to give each other a hug and a kiss.  “There is nothing more fulfilling than to share a moment with your best friend.”  I realized, at that moment, that life is unpredictable and no matter how stressed or how tired I might feel, I never again want to miss an opportunity to tell my husband that I love him.  My great uncle shared this as a form of advice and encouraged that every couple try it.  After that, the music filled the room and a conga line slithered by every table.  Multiple times.  And it was wonderful.

Because our morning schedules are so different, Jim and I cannot possibly share this special moment at 9am.  Instead, we modified it to fit our schedules.  I set a daily alarm, with no end date, into our Google calendar (yes, I know its lame, but it helps to remind us!) for 11pm.  Regardless of the situation, we will stop what we are doing and hug.  This is how I will honor my great aunt in an attempt to emulate what she and my uncle shared for so many years.  Life is incredibly precious, so be sure to set your alarm as well.