September 29th, 2011 marked the last time that my daughter suckled from my breast.  I felt that 27 months and 11 days of breastfeeding was a solid offering of immune boosting nutrition, warmth, and comfort, the likes of which can only be provided by a mother.  The end of this breastfeeding era was bittersweet as it signified the official transition from baby to child.  However, this date also marked the beginning of the end of what I considered to be a pretty sweet rack.  

Ever since I began to procreate, I have been an outspoken advocate for long-term breastfeeding.  I’ve shared stories about the spontaneous soaking of my blouse during a meeting and how I refuse to apologize or feel embarrassed for nursing my toddler.  I’ve experienced an indescribable happiness as I watched my girls feed from my bosom, and have also had the “why the hell am I doing this” type thoughts race through my mind, especially on the fifth feeding of the night.  Nursing has been a HUGE part of my child-rearing approach to date, reaching a grand total of 45 months.  And now, it appears as if my boobs have deflated.  And I say, so what!  

Apparently, it ruffles a few feathers to talk about this phenomenon.  After Sam Bee (of The Daily Show fame) spoke about the imminent disappearance of her “boob-meat” as a consequence of nursing cessation, she was accused of perpetuating the fear that breastfeeding changes the size and shape of a woman’s breast. 

Given my own dwindling cup size, along with my love for all things funny, I am on team Sam Bee.  But, I wondered how science weighed in on this issue.  Alas, I was only able to find one study on this subject, but at least it is something.  In the report entitled “The Effects of Breastfeeding on Breast Aesthetics,” published in the 2008 issue of Aesthetic Surgery Journal, researchers concluded that “A history of breastfeeding was not found to be associated with a greater degree of breast ptosis in patients presenting for postpregnancy aesthetic breast surgery.”  In other words, nursing does not appear to cause saggy boobs (ptosis).

However, there are some notable weaknesses regarding this study.  For one, the patients were not randomized to breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding groups.  In addition, the study only included 132 patients – a number clearly not large enough to represent the population at large.  The authors acknowledged these issues and stated that a larger, well-designed prospective study is necessary to truly figure out the effects of pregnancy and breastfeeding on breast size and shape.  Despite these issues, there is currently no scientific basis for nursing-induced booby shrinking.

Yet, here I am, unable to fill the bras that once beautifully clothed my girls and suddenly, I am reminded of the “ironing board” teasing tactics from my youth (I’m looking at you, Kevin Murphy).  But honestly, I could care less.  I am so proud that I was able to share this experience with my children, and for me, that is worth any amount of body change. 

I should also add that breastfeeding is a personal choice.  While breast truly is best, it isn’t the only option.  Many a baby, including all of my mother’s children, do just fine on formula.  If a woman chooses to breastfeed, that’s wonderful.  If she doesn’t, that’s cool too.  The important thing is that women are provided with the information that allows them to make the best choice for them.  Period.

I guess what I am trying to say is: lay off it.  I don’t see a problem with Sam Bee poking fun at herself for her “A minus cups.”  Honestly, her post has helped me realize the comedic potential of my new itty bitties, and for that, I am thankful.

With that said, does anyone want to buy some impeccably maintained Chantelle and Aubade lace braziers?  Size 32C, always hand washed and air-dried.  Someone might as well enjoy them...

Happy Thanksgiving y’all!