Every working mother has her little bag of tricks, sanity techniques, survival gear.  And now we have an indispensible new resource, the Working Mom Survival Guide, published by Working Mother Magazine.  Oh, I was skeptical at first, as I am of all parenting advice books – not because I know it all or know it better, but because I’m a firm believer in the power of maternal instinct.  I’ve discovered for myself, as well as many of my colleagues and friends, that when we became parents we realized that we knew more than we thought we did.  It’s a mystical, magical fact of motherhood; and for some of us with few positive role models, it’s reaffirming and truly a blessing.  Perfection is never possible, nor is it the goal, really.  Children learn from healthy mistakes – theirs and their parents’.  I was also skeptical because, like a game of Jenga, I’m never sure when the tower of half-read books beside my bed is going to topple.  Some of the books have bookmarks halfway through, others are not so lucky. I recently purchased a beautiful, big wicker basket in which to contain all my precious books, knowing full well that it would only encourage me to buy more. Is it a sin to love the acquisition of books more than the love of reading them?  I’ve never liked reading (don’t tell my kids), but I do love to have them.  There are many books, most about motherhood and work-life balance, that I have enjoyed reading and found worthy of the bedside tower.  It’s just that, well, I can never quite finish one. But I digress…

To my delight and surprise, not only was Working Mom Survival Guide bedside tower-worthy, it has earned the special status of travelling with me to work, to appointments, everywhere.  I have even been known to glance at it in the car during long stoplights (don’t tell my kids). The book is easy to read, with pithy quotes, helpful hints, snippets of information, and more than a little humor.  (My own Working Mother Survival Tip #1: don’t ever lose your sense of humor.)  For example, on page 91, sage authors reminded us that you too will laugh one day when “remembering the morning when Jasmine went to kindergarten with a Lean Cuisine and came home with a note from the teacher wondering why your petite 5-year-old is on a diet.”  Honestly.  On a more serious note, there is a section on “When you feel overwhelmed.”  At times, even the most seasoned mothers feel overwhelmed and need to ask for help, up their self-care, say “no.”

It was most reassuring to read, “Teaching your children how to entertain themselves is an essential skill, and giving them the chance to do so is crucial.”  Really, I knew that.  It’s not a cop out or an “I need to get dinner on the table” strategy, it is an essential skill.  It’s been a while sic ne there was an infant in our home (our youngest is 6), though the book addresses preparing for baby, going back to work, managing work-life balance, and all that jazz.  (Raise your hand if you remember maternity leave.)  I especially liked the section, “Why It’s OK  to Go to Bed When You’re Really Tired.”  Some of you are nodding your heads and others are rolling their eyes, “Really, do we need to be told that?”  Why yes, you do; you’ll see.  Best of all are the Mom to Mom quotations sprinkled throughout the book.  Often, the best advice comes from the sisterhood, the collective understanding, sharing, comiserating, and validating exoeriences of our fellow working mothers. We share the good, the bad, and the ugly and we learn from each other.  Where would I be without my sister, friends, colleagues?  Sure, I’d have my own maternal instincts and plenty of books to read, but I wouldn’t have the validation, expectation, and affirmation that everything is going to be OK. 

And on that note, as your sister, friend and colleague, I recommend you grab a copy of the Working Mom Survival Guide.  Read it in snippets, skip chapters or absorb it all cover to cover. Keep it on your beside tower or better yet, at arms length at work.  You know you’ll need it.  I do.