Actually, I don’t… it’s the title of a new sitcom that's scheduled to premiere in November.  We’re told that’s the “working title.”  Let’s hope the creators and producers have the good sense to re-title it before it airs.  The premise of I Hate My Teenage Daughter (working title) is two mothers who come to realize that their teenage daughters are mean girls, the type who used to tease them when they were in high school.  I wish I had a dime for every time I told my daughters not to use the word “hate.”  The word sickens me. After all, I really dislike brussel sprouts; in fact, it’s the only food that I refuse to eat, but hate them?!  No, no.

A graduate student in my leadership class this semester speaks often about the power of words.  He mentors young men in his urban community, inspiring them to reach their potential to become productive members of the community who can, in turn, give back.   He truly believes that words can transform people and communities.  Words have power.  If we live in negativity with our words, our actions will follow.  Words can be poison or the anecdote to what we fear.  They can uplift, but they can also tear down.  In class, we have discussed the influence of a leader to set the tone and vision for the organization and its people.  Have you ever been around someone who’s cynical and negative all the time?  It’s emotionally draining.  Positive words have the power to inspire and reframe one’s perspective.  Positive thinking and a positive attitude have been shown to decrease stress and help people cope through tough times.  We’re not talking about pollyanna praise and the ever-so-insincere “have a nice day!”  We have a choice in the words we use – choose wisely.  We can turn “I can’t” into “I can.”  We do it every day with our children, whether it’s encouraging them to tie their shoelaces themselves or to study for just another half hour so that they can get better grades on the test.

That’s why the title of the new sitcom bothers me so much.  Do we really need to put it out there: “I hate my teenage daughter.”  Yes, the teenage years are trying times, and I admit I don’t feel all warm and fuzzy when we’re arguing about homework (or which sneakers to buy, or straightening her hair), but the simple idea of uttering those words – “I hate my teenage daughter” – makes me shudder.  Ever since there has been TV we have seen the ups and downs of the family dynamic.  Ozzie and Harriet had their moments, and Beaver tested his parents’ patience on a regular basis.  Still, hate is a strong word. 

I can only imagine my daughter’s reaction to the sitcom’s title:  Do some Moms really hate their daughters?  Is ‘hate’ a euphemism for 'can’t relate to/understand/communicate with’ my daughter?  If so, we’re in big trouble, not just in TV-land, but in the real world, and globally.  We certainly don’t need any more hate in this world, least of all in the form of TV entertainment.  And so, I’ve developed my personal motto: Make love, not brussel sprouts.