Here I sit at my kitchen table, day #3 with the kids in
school and my new gig as a stay at home Mom.  
After being laid off from work in July, family and friends told me to savor
the time off; after all, I had been working every day for 23 years, except for
two maternity leaves and vacations.  I'll
admit, I was a little giddy those first few weeks and enjoyed my new found
freedom from the clock, the long commute, and Spanx.  I could pick up my kids early from camp, take
the time to prepare weeknight barbeque dinners, and enjoy the long summer
evenings.  I didn't sleep very well at
night because that's when my mind would start racing about if I'd ever find a
new job and when, but fortunately, now I had time to nap in the afternoon.  I ended my 10 year relationship with the
housekeeper and decided that I would clean the house myself.  So far, so good.

Unbeknownst to most of my professional colleagues, this Type
A career woman has a creative side and loves baking and making crafts. My
career in higher education was varied and creative to an extent,  but it was not the type of creativity that
allowed me to be truly imaginative and lose all track of time in its
pursuit.  My interest in crafts had taken
a back seat to work, save for a few elementary school projects (mostly
dioramas) and Saturday morning art projects with my daughters (usually
involving lots of glue and glitter).  Saturday
morning art projects became a ritual, in fact, and I'm not sure who enjoyed it
more, me or the girls.  So suffice it to
say, I have "rediscovered" my creativity since becoming
U-N-E-M-P-L-O-Y-E-D.  Here's the short
list:

·        
rearranged pictures,
furniture, and the like around the house

·        
made spaghetti sauce from
scratch with vegetables from my garden, not once, but several times

·        
planned and designed the
decor for my 7 year old's birthday party

·        
so far, baked and decorated
one homemade birthday cake; another, more elaborate one to come

·        
repurposed a few clothing
items (enough said)

·        
replanted, repainted,
revised, and reinstated

Now, spaghetti sauce from scratch may not be an especially
creative endeavor for many folks, but for me, it was an act of artistic pleasure
- to make and to eat.  What I really mean
to say is, now that I'm not working and I have more free time, I am able to do
these things with leisure.  They
are no longer the hobbies and details that I cram into weekend s and exhausted
evenings.  The truth is, I am still a
Type A and I'm trying to stay busy, but now I am able to do all the little
things that I never had time for or never made time for.  I find satisfaction in the fact that all my
laundry is done, the plants are watered, I cut roses for the vase in my
bathroom, and my bills are paid early.

For all the times that I've wondered how stay at home Moms
stay busy while their kids are at school, I get it.  And while I still believe that we have the
potential to make a greater contribution to society and enrich our lives, for now
I'm learning to cherish my role as stay at home Mom and relish the time and
opportunity to do all the things I want to do.  Now that the kids are back in school,  I'm in full-time job search mode, though I'm
still able to find time to do a little shopping and have lunch with friends. 

I've always believed that working women could have it all;
and I want it all, as before, and more.  During
the past couple of months I've learned a lot about myself and an important lesson
about not just how much, but about how, I spend my time at work and at
play.

This time won't last forever, nor do I want it to.  Soon enough, I will be itching to get back to
work.  My self-identity as a working
mother has taken a hit, and I want to put on a suit once again.  I miss the camaraderie of professional colleagues
and the day to day challenges of work.  I
can stay busy, but I feel like I am living the life of half a person.  There's so much more to be done, said,
written, read.  Even my 13 year old is eager
to point out that I seem bored: last week I bought a mega-pack of Q-tips at
Costco and she quickly pointed out that we already have a 2-year supply in the
cupboard.

Still, I will cherish this time.  I can even say that I'm enjoying it.  The grass is always greener...but it's nice
to stop and savor the smell of fresh cut grass for a while.