I can’t begin to tell you how many articles I’ve read about managing stress.  I’m constantly on the lookout for what will help me with my particular pressure points.  I, like many other working mothers, have a multitude of stressors. 

For the most part I find the guidance I’ve read on how to reduce stress to be overly simplified.  Alternatively, I could just be in denial and not willing to move from victim to victor.  It’s likely somewhere in between.

I recently read an article that called out 6 stress management strategies*:

#1: Avoid unnecessary stress

#2: Alter the situation

#3: Adapt to the stressor

#4: Accept the things you can’t change

#5: Make time for fun and relaxation

#6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

* http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

These are actually quite effective as I apply them to my work life and to creating a positive work environment and professional relationships that work for and with me.  I regard most of what I feel at work as “positive stress” because I love what I do and I respect and care for the people I work with.

I can even apply some of these strategies to my role as a wife, although I don’t quite regard pressure points with my husband as good stress.  We have what I think of as 21st century roles in our marriage.  I’m the breadwinner and he is the non-working head of the household.  It works for us but we are continuously challenged by my unrealistic expectations of flawless execution and his cyclical yearnings to be more than a stay-at-home dad.

For me, it’s very stressful being the breadwinner and the strategic planner. When I make a good call, it’s great … but if it’s a bad one, it impacts the whole family.  My worries and angst build from decisions that run the gamut – where should we live and for how long, what schools should the kids attend, needed surgery and reduced pay now or later, how much should we save vs. spend, what choices should I make to keep our credit scores high, what vacations should we go on, what movies should we go see, should the linens be 300 thread count or higher, and so on, and so on, and so on.

I consider myself immensely fortunate that my husband has been a stay at home dad and leading the household for the past few years.  We have four African American sons in our blended family, 3 adults and 1 pre-teen.  We don’t all live together but all reside in the inner city.  My husband has been there for them in ways that have literally kept them alive, nurtured, and positive and happy souls.  They are absolutely beautiful and life is good but it has been beyond stressful and, sometimes, an absolute panic.  We have had to deal with a son being arrested, a son being shot, a son in the hospital, a son being mugged, car accidents, bad grades, gun play and screeching stolen cars echoing in the night, experimentation with drinking, first and second loves, lost jobs, new jobs, and youth in general.

I won’t even get into some of the social stressors – legislation that seems geared towards making it even more challenging to be a woman, wife, mother and maker of decisions that are right for you and your family.

Kermit said “it’s not easy being green”.  Well, I say it’s not easy being a mother today either.

It stresses me out !!!

"Calgon, take me away!"

What say you fellow reader?