We watch carefully as our children grow and learn to express themselves.  Sometimes it takes a bit of restraint to let our children develop an identity without constructing them into mini versions of ourselves.  Several months ago my younger son decided he wanted a ponytail after I denied his request to get braids.

I created obstacles by explaining just how long it would take to get the ponytail length he desired. Think Troy Polamalu. I put a full and very annoying hair care regimen in place to discourage him while remaining "supportive". However, I was the only one vexed by the morning's routine. He was determined and unphased by my attempts to thwart his efforts.

He even ignored the multiple attempts and tactics of his older brother, whom he idolizes, to convince (or otherwise order) him to get a haircut.  This kid was going to let his hair grow for the next ten years and it would be the very death of me. Every week he made me try to pull his hair back. Months and months went by until finally, a cute little ponytail emerged.  Despite his older brother saying he looked like "a bridesmaid", he was proud of his ponytail.

Though I am not a fan of long hair,  the little ponytail was much neater than the mess of curls he had been wearing for nearly a year.  He was excited to wear his ponytail to school but by the end of the day his hair was a mess.  So, he begged for braids and despite every feeling in my body to the contrary, I allowed him to get braids because I did not want him to give up now. He had won me over.  Mommy powers ACTIVATE, form of...supportive, encouraging mom who doesn't want to raise conformist children.

After a day or two of braids and wicked comments by his suburban prep school counterparts, he decided he wanted to cut his hair and I began convincing him to keep it. I had gained a great respect for his desire to express himself and I was pleased to see the character traits that had developed in him. But despite my attempts to curtail his efforts, he cut his hair and I had my son back. 

It was a great lesson for mother and son and matured both of us as individuals and in our relationship with one another.  Am I ready for this one to be a teenager? Nope. But at least I got a little glimpse of what I'm in for in a few years.  And I love it!!!