I have a tendency to try to do a million things at once. Some of this comes from being a working mom; there are simply not enough hours in the day to afford the luxury of doing one thing at a time, so like many other women, I multitask. Waiting for dinner to finish cooking? Throw in a load of laundry. Waiting on the kids to get ready for school? Better grade a few papers. Fifteen minutes to kill in the car? A great time to quiz them over their math facts and spelling words.

However, lately I've felt completely overwhelmed. I feel like I'm giving a little bit of myself to a lot of things, and as a result, I'm not good at any of them. My brain is in a million different places at once, and I rarely feel like I'm in the moment or experiencing the people in the room. When it gets to the point that the energy I'm devoting to everything and everyone else affects the way I treat my kids, I have to draw the line.

I can honestly say that I work so much FOR my kids. Yes, I love my jobs, but at the end of the day, it's about paying the bills. If it were up to me, I'd spend my days writing, training, and being one of those crafty volunteer moms. For now, I'm resigned to the occasional blog post, training clients a couple days a week, and being assigned to send in classroom supplies for parties. Most of the time I feel like I'm in some sort of crazy race to stay one step ahead, and that if I let my guard down, I'm going to lose everything and let my kids down.

A couple of recent events have made me stop and think: how are my kids going to remember me someday? When I'm gone, here's what I hope they would tell others about their mom:

My mom was patient, loving, and kind. She was a hard worker and always provided for us. We spent a lot of time laughing, and she always made time for us, no matter what. She made us feel special, safe, and protected, and it's because of her love that I'm running for President. Also, her sense of style trumped that of all other mothers.

In contrast, here's what I think they would say if I continue this way:

My mom was a hard worker and always provided for us; however, sometimes it seemed like everything else came before we did. She often lost her patience with us over little things, and she snapped at us too often. Many times she would promise to play with us, but would put it off because of other obligations. I understand she had responsibilities, but I wish I had more of the fun moments I remember, like our dance parties and hot chocolate nights. Also, her sense of style trumped that of all other mothers.

Clearly the realities of life prevent me from being June Cleaver. I'm probably always going to be "that mom" who shows up at games a bit frazzled, with my hair in a ponytail and in my gym clothes. There will likely still be times when I forget to sign an assignment book or we are finishing homework on the way to school. But I want to make a true commitment to changing some habits over the course of the next month, and I hope they stick. Here's my list:

1. I will be patient. When I'm upset with one of the kids, I will take a step back and ask myself if it's really about them, or if it's something else. They are still babies, and my reaction to their behavior is teaching them so much.

2. I will be present. When they are telling me a story, they will have 100% of my attention. I won't cut Emma's stories short (god help her, she's my child...sometimes they take awhile), and when Kellen asks me for the millionth time if dinosaurs/Bigfoot/alligators/bad guys are "real in this life and world, mommy", I will re-explain the answer to each.

3. I will disconnect. I spend way too much time on my phone. Texts, facebook, emails...there's a time and a place. I won't sacrifice time with my kids for things that can wait.

4. I will play. We will have our dance parties, stay up too late just because it's still daylight, and I will honor Kellen when he asks me to throw football and Emma when she wants me to draw with her. I need it as much as they do, and I know it's only a matter of time before I'm the last person they want to hang out with.

5. I will be grateful. God has given me the two most amazing people on the planet. At the end of the day, I have them, no matter what.

6. I will update my spring wardrobe in order to be fashionable and stylish. It matters, people.

How about you? Are there ways you can be more mindful in any areas of your life?

"And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul."

xoxo

Meg