What is Self-Love?

For me, Self-Love means that I am making my needs a priority in my life.

Society teaches women to put the needs of others in front of ourselves.  For years I did that.  Work came first.  When I married, my husband came first.  Then when my daughter was born her needs also came before mine.

I was exhausted since I gave everything I had to those around me.  I was clueless that my soul was crying out for attention.  Overtime, I lost the essence of who I was as a woman since I was so focused on others.

In hindsight, I realize the signal my soul was giving me at the time.  For example, when I had the opportunity to go on a business trip I was thrilled.  It gave me a reprieve from the demands of my home life.  First item that was always tossed into my suitcase was bath salts.

In my hotel room, I thoroughly enjoyed a nice quiet evening with a hot bath and crawling into bed with a good book.  I would be so refreshed the next day because I carved out time for me to indulge in myself.  Focusing on my needs for an evening, my soul was fed.  I would come back from my business trip refreshed, at least for a few days, until exhaustion started setting in.

Does this resonate with you?

Once divorced, a friend had suggested that I need to take Debbi time to keep my inner soul fed.  What I didn’t realize is that by putting the needs of others in front mine, I fell out of love with myself after a while.  I was responding to needs of others from a place of obligation versus from a place of love.

I started incorporating steps I needed to do to take care of myself.  First was time, I set aside each evening to read a book that I wanted to read.  Self-care meant getting a sitter for my daughter to go have dinner with a girlfriend or get a massage.  It meant that I started an exercise program to boost my energy level and slim me down.

What happened over time is that as I started making myself a priority in my life.  I found myself again and learned to appreciate and love the beautiful woman I am.  Once I fell back in love with me, I found that the care I gave my daughter did not exhaust me anymore.  I was filled with gratitude and simply was in awe with the blessing I was given to raise an incredible young woman.

What I learned is that if you respond to the true call of self-love, you begin to live a life that gratifies you.