Sometimes I hear the funniest lines that I just need to share. I have a girlfriend that talks a mile a minute. She is high-energy and has a mind that collects LOTS of facts and data points that she can retrieve at a snap of a finger.
The result is that with a given topic you can receive a ton of information in a very short period of time. Your head can spin at times at the amount of detail and how quickly it is delivered. One day, my friend told me a comment that was made to her about the level of detail she shares.
The person commented that she could decrease her carbon footprint by sharing less. It was said to her in a loving way since this is an area she is consciously working on. We laughed together about the comment because for her right now, it is spot on.
I remember a time when I felt the need to share everything I knew on a given topic to validate me. The only way I knew to share was to share everything; not only could it be overwhelming for the recipient, it sometimes didn’t work in my favor to share everything.
I did not understand that I just needed to share pertinent information. Sometimes, it is just a matter of answering the question that is asked and not needing to explain my answer. Today I find if I need to put the word ‘because’ as part of my answer, I need to ask myself it should be a period instead with nothing more to be said.
The other aspect of sharing less is learning that I needed to use different filters depending upon my audience. I used to share everything with everyone and not giving a second thought as if it was appropriate. I know today that the level of detail I share with people needs to vary. I need to take into consideration who I am talking to and where I am.
At a business luncheon I attended was a woman sharing her cat’s illness at a level that was appropriate for her veterinarian; not a business luncheon. Eating salad while listening to the details of cat vomit does not go together.
Another aspect of sharing is reading a person’s mood or the room. Earlier this month, I was calling a co-worker. This is a person with who I have a very good business relationship. We often talk about nothing particular for a few minutes before getting to the business at hand. That particular day I was calling, he answered the phone with a ‘Hello Debbi’ that was all business. Due to the tone of his voice, I knew I needed to cut straight to business at hand. I kept the conversation short and to the point of my call.
Today I have effective conversations because I’m mindful of whom I am talking to and the circumstances around our conversation.