I had the wildest revelation today. I'm nearing 40, I have a family and dreams that I want to pursue very soon. However, I had been dealing with an issue for years that crushing to me mentally that was keeping me from putting my all into anything else. I was afraid of losing my hair! Due to alopecia and other health issues, my hair started to fall out years ago. Despite this, I still wanted to keep what I had because I felt like my hair defined me... At the beginning of 2012, I knew that I had to make some changes but, I didn't realize until today that the changes had to start with me, from within me. I had to start truly knowing and coming to love who I am, with or without hair. So, today, I did what we in the "natural hair" world call the "big chop." It's big for more than just losing chunks of hair to the scissors. It's big because it's revealing, it's bold and it says that "I am not my hair." Now, the big chop still leaves some hair on the head but, it looks like a teeny weenie afro. After my stylist chopped my damaged locks and rubbed a conditioner through my natural curls, I was amazed. I didn't feel discouraged or sad or embarrassed, I felt elated! I still wear a hat because I have an area on the back of my head that has very thin hair but, I feel elated and bold nonetheless. I'm excited about re-growing my hair and having a healthy, full head of natural hair but, in the meantime, I am enjoying my mini afro that is all me and not processed. Now I'm ready to pursue some of those dreams...