It’s easy to notice the mistakes of those around us, especially our kids.  After all, they’re little people, growing into adults so it’s normal that they’ll have a lot of mishaps along the way.  It’s also normal to hold them accountable so they can grow into responsible adults.  Sadly, on the journey to adulthood, oftentimes our fault-finding outweighs the positive aspects of the relationship with our children. 

So, in honor of your children, or grandchildren, or the kids next door, here are three daily phrases that will affirm them, respect them and most of all, love them on their road to maturity.

Great Effort – Although controversy surrounds the type of praise we give our children, in particular with using the clichéd, “Good job,” it can’t be argued that kids do require regular positive reinforcement.  And, although the words, “Good job” is a positive statement it is often overused for things our child has put no real effort into doing.  “You worked very hard on that difficult puzzle,” emphasizes effort, versus “You’re so amazing,” which emphasizes talent.  And chances are, if they don’t get the puzzle right the next time they may not feel, “so amazing.” Studies show that kids are more likely to challenge themselves to accomplish more difficult tasks when effort is recognized over results.

Thank You – We’re always asking our kids to be polite and respectful, but sometimes we fall short in modeling the behavior we preach.  By finding ways to thank our children we’ll not only be teaching them, but we’ll be showing them just how important good manners are.  What better way to teach our children good manners than by displaying proper conduct to them?  If our aim is to raise caring, respectful and polite kids then, as adults, we should exemplify caring, respectful and polite behavior.

I Love You – These are three words we can’t say enough of to our children. We can use this little phrase as soon as they wake up, when they leave for school or daycare, and before they go to bed.  There are so many opportunities to say I love you throughout the day that I can’t even begin to list them all.  Saying, “I love you,” meaning it, and displaying it will go a long way in contributing to your child’s overall happiness.  The phrase, “I love you,” is just the beginning; once you say it, let your actions speak louder than the words because it’s nice to hear, but there’s nothing like seeing love in action.

Think about your kids and the character that you want to instill in them with your words.  Great effort, thank you, and I love you, will plant seeds that’ll grow into a positive self-image, all while building responsible, polite and loving adults that will make the world a much better place to live in.  

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