The first thing I see when I wake in the morning and the last thing I see when I fall asleep at night is my wall of GRLPWR – my photos of my mom, myself, my daughter, and my grandmother (Nana).  There’s a spot open for my mother-in-law, because she definitely has GRLPWR, too.  The place of distinction, however, goes to Nana.  I am so lucky to have had her in my life.  Every morning I give her a wink and a smile.  Her presence, if only in a picture, gives me strength to tackle the day.

I called her Nana.  She called me “Dee Dee”.  There is a quote by Claudette Colbert that makes me laugh about my shenanigans with my grandparents when I was a teenager:

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy, the mother.

Of course, I love my mom and my grandmother loved her too.  But I think Nana loved to watch my Mother Goose’s feathers get ruffled.  Just for fun.  From the time that she brought a bag full of ducks to our house because she thought I needed pets (before I even knew how to spell ducks), to the times that she told my friends dirty jokes when we were in high school, she was my BFF.  My BFF from beginning to end.   I learned many life lessons from her. 

Stand By Your Man – Tammy Wynette

Not in the honor and obey sense.  But in the sitting side-by-side on the bench seat when you drive to the grocery store sense.  When I was in high school, everyone used to comment on how close my grandparents (Nana and Papa) sat next to each other every time they drove somewhere.  The Tigress came out in my grandmother when anyone tried to cozy up to her man.  I specifically remember one time at a seniors’ dance, a woman tried to cozy up to my grandfather and Nana swung around and opened up a can of Ukrainian WhoopA** on her.  That streak of Ukrainian fire is in our DNA.  That’s probably why when my daughter was four, she came home from pre-school and announced that she had a nemesis.  

I Live on Good Soup, Not on Fine Words - Molière

Almost every day during the last twenty years of her life, Nana would wake my grandfather up at 4:00 in the morning to chop vegetables and prepare soup.  They would linger over it all day long and by the meal time rolled around you would have thought they had the king’s ransom.  Happiness is making the most of what you have. I try to carry that with me every day. 

Music is the Short-Hand of Emotion - Tolstoy

Nana wanted to be a jazz singer.  She would seize any opportunity to hold court in front of an audience and belt out “All of Me” by Billie Holiday.  During her prime, she’d grab the mic at the local hotel bar after a “high ball”.   At my wedding reception, when she was 75, she grabbed the mike and belted out that familiar song just as strong as ever…bringing the crowd to their feet, and putting a tear and a sparkle in my grandfather’s eyes and a crooked smile on his face.  His shoulders would shake when he laughed and he looked like a little boy who got caught taking the last cookie. 

During the last couple of weeks, my grandfather’s health declined.  My mom would sit by his side in the nursing home and ask him if he remembered the song.  He would say “yes”.  She would ask him if he would like her to sing him the song.  He would say “yes”.  Finally, she’d ask if he would like to sing it with her.  Again, he would say “yes” and together they would murmur those familiar words:

All of Me

Why not take all of me

Can’t you see

I’m no good without you?

Your goodbye

Left me with eyes that cry

How can I go on dear without you?

Today he decided not to go on without Nana.  Today he decided to join her.  Together again.   Together forever.  May they sing and sit side by side for eternity.   My life is richer because they were part of it.  They will hold a spot in my heart and my mind forever.