What does self-care mean to you?

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What does self-care mean to you?

Posted on June 21, 2013
What does self-care mean to you?

 

Last week I connected with some powerful national presenters and we discussed the concept of self-care. Like many, they see self-care as something you "should do" for your physical health (exercise, eat well, get enough sleep), but that's where it ends. They were curious when I shared that I define self-care as the art of attuning and responding to your needs and desires, moment to moment.

Pick up an onion and hold it in your palm. For me, self-care would be the outer layer, then a few layers deeper, you'll find self-compassion (as you learn to accept yourself warts and all), then a few layers beyond that you'd arrive at the holy grail: self-love. I see self-care as the first doorway we go through to begin to truly accept who we are, and ultimately, to begin to love ourselves.

What does self-care mean to you? Some of my workshop attendees have said: self-care means practicing self-forgiveness; releasing guilt and believing I deserve to have my needs met; learning to cultivate self-compassion; breathing and listening to my body; remembering to laugh and find joy in everyday life; connecting with and expressing my authentic self; being fully “me” (not who others want me to be) and sometimes it's moving mountains to get bed by 9:30 p.m.!

The art and practice of self-care has been a central focus for my life balance work since 1999 and it has had a profound and lasting change on how I live. I wish my son (who is entering middle school in the fall) could take Self-Care 101 where he would learn the art and science of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self-care--along with Pre-Algebra and Creative Writing! Can you imagine a world where everyone--both adolescents and adults--interacted from a full-cup rather than an empty one?

There are many, many benefits to making self-renewal a priority (read more). For me, practicing self-care (and ultimately learning to embrace self-acceptance and self-love) has helped me to:

  • be more easy-going and to learn to “go with the flow”
  • see that little things stay little (my son not picking up his dirty socks) and don’t become front page news
  • have more space around my thoughts and become more present
  • be kinder and more compassionate to others (whether it’s a waitress, family member, car mechanic or business partner)
  • connect more deeply to the sacred and the spiritual aspects of every day life
  • react less and Live Inside Out more (read more)
  • sense my connection to everything around me and how interwoven we all are
But most importantly, this practice has helped me feel that everything is ok (about 90% of the time), no matter what happens. And ultimately, this underlying anchoring sense of peace and well-being is what we’re all seeking, isn’t it?

 

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