My husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary in Big Sur, CA (read more and view our photos here).

The topic of relationships and self-care is always a heated one in our Personal Renewal Groups around the U.S.

Most of us know that scheduling regular dates with our partner, working on enhancing our communication and planning occasional trips away together sans kids can have a big impact on our relationship (read more on Staying Connected to Your Partner from this chapter in The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal), but have you ever really thought about the impact your own self-care has on your ability to connect as a couple?

Here are a few not-so-typical ways some our Personal Renewal Group members stay connected to their partners:

Schedule time for your needs: Schedule time for self-renewal just like you would schedule a dentist’s appointment (we each pick one night of the week for a “solo date”). Then you’ll be able to fully enjoy and feel more generous and loving during your time alone together.

Kisses each day keep the therapist away: Hugs and kisses in the morning and at the end of the day, quick neck or shoulder massages, gentle arm touches and holding hands are all thoughtful and easy ways to stay physically and emotionally connected to your partner. We make a habit of doing this every night when we see each other after work, before we sit down for dinner.

Develop some ground rules and strategies for communicating with your partner. We often resort to “quiet breaks” when we feel like we’ve reached our limit and are about to blow. It’s always better to go this route than to say things you may later regret. I also know that my partner shuts down and withdraws when my voice escalates, so I try to be mindful of that. One of our PRG members sits down with her partner every Sunday night and they have family planning meetings for the upcoming week to ensure they’re on the same page. They find it helpful to give one another a heads-up if one of them has a particularly challenging week ahead and may need some extra support and TLC.

What does your bedroom say about your marriage? A feng shui consultant once asked me, “Why do you have all these pictures of single women up in your bedroom? Where are the pictures of you and your husband?” Great point. Hang up pictures and place mementos of your partnership in your bedroom: special photos, candles, your intention statement or anything else that celebrates your union (we actually created a small “marriage altar” in our bedroom for our special mementos). Try to have your bedroom be a “toy-free” zone; make it a space for relaxation and connection.

Take five minutes to take turns stating your needs. “Three things I need from our relationship are ... (fill in the blank).” Simple but powerful. Your needs will change depending on the time of the year, your life stage and kids’ ages. We love the book Love Tune-Ups to help prompt this level of sharing on date nights.

Write an intention statement for your partnership. This can be a powerful way to communicate what you want your relationship to represent. Frame your statement and place it in your bedroom in a visible spot. See the sample statement here.

Connect every day for at least ten minutes. At the end of each day, share your high and low moment of the day. (See the exercises from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal around this.) This is a quick but really effective way for us to re-connect. One Facilitator shares: we like to take a long, hot bubble bath together after the kids are in bed—try staying mad when you’re covered in bubbles!

How do you stay connected to your partner? We’d love to hear your favorite recommendations for books, resources, tips, strategies and more on our Facebook Live Inside Out Community .

Join Renee October 19-21 for New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat, located at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in The Berkshires, MA. Tap into the transformative power of self-care to nourish your body, heart and soul. Learn to integrate self-renewal strategies into your daily life, slow down and access your Wise Self and step into a New Way of Being. Led by nationally-recognized career/life balance expert, coach and author Renee Trudeau at beautiful Kripalu. Ideal for women in career/life transition.  info@reneetrudeau.com   512-459-6700