The other day I was shopping for groceries when a happy clerk wearing an elf hat stopped me and asked, “So what is Santa bringing you this year?” I looked up, took in the sea of red and green swimming around me, smiled, and paused. 

Between having an extremely full plate at work due to my upcoming book launch and the intense demands of family life—I haven’t spent much time hanging mistletoe.

While this is a favorite time of year for some—and I’ve had many magical holidays—this upcoming stretch can also be incredibly stressful, emotionally-taxing and just plain exhausting for many of us. (There is a reason the rates of depression and suicide skyrocket in December and January.) Before you swing into disequilibrium, pause. And consider the following:

5 Tips for Enhancing Harmony this Holiday Season:

1) Approach the holidays intentionally: If you were to set an intention or theme for the holiday season what would it be? What do you most want to experience this time of year? Rest and relaxation (and lots of unscheduled downtime)? Spiritual reflection and renewal? Connection and sharing with close friends? Deeper or more meaningful exchanges with family? Creative expression (whether that's through making things for others, singing or decorating)? Giving or volunteering to help those in pain or in need? What activities or choices might you make to support this intention? What do you need to let go?

2) Release expectations--particularly around family: What if you showed up at a family holiday gathering--whether you're hosting the get-together or not--with the idea that this might be the last time you'd ever see your family members? How might you treat them? Do you think some of your expectations might change around how they should treat you, interact with one another or behave at group gatherings? Would your language or tone change while you were together? Would you initiate long overdue conversations? Express your love or gratitude for their presence in your life?

3) Schedule time for self-care NOW! What do you need to nurture yourself--emotionally and physically--during this period? Maybe more exercise, protein-rich foods, emotional support from a close friend or mentor, taking an afternoon off for a solo date or just lightening your schedule so you can build in a 20-minute rest period between errands? I recommend you schedule time for yourself just like you would schedule a doctor's appointment. (Read more about this theme from my first book The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life and download a free chapter here.) One of my favorite quotes is, "Self care is not about self-indulgence. It's about self-preservation." Audre Lorde

4) Say yes to what feeds you and no to what doesn't: Check out the Nine Ways to Say No list for support on becoming more comfortable drawing boundaries. I like to ask myself, "Is this something I really want to do--something that would feed me--or am I doing this because I think I should?" Actor Larry Eisenberg summed it up: "For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the Universe."

5) Slow down and practice living in the present: The shopping will get done and you'll make it to the meaningful holiday activities that are important to you. The question is, how do you want to feel while accomplishing these things? Stress comes from living in (or having thoughts about) the past or the future. Right here, right now, in this moment--there is no stress. Breathe. Slow down. And read more about this theme in Being Present and Remembering What Really Matters from The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal.

Before you enter this holiday season, think about last year: what worked and what didn't? Then, I challenge you: slow down, do less, attune and respond to your needs, say no to activities that don't feed you, make choices that support your emotional and physical well-being and when in doubt, keep it simple. You'll be surprised by how many people around you will follow your lead.