Apparently, I am a nag and my sixteen year old son has coined names for the different levels of nagging I am guilty of. Here goes:

1. The Pre-Nag – A pre-nag is a nag that comes before my son is actually guilty of doing anything wrong. A pre-nag anticipates that he is about to do something slob related. For example: He’ll walk into the dining room after basketball practice and before he drops his gym bag, I’ll say “don’t drop your gym bag and sneakers on the floor. Take them to your room.” That my friends, is a classic Pre-Nag!

2. The Multi-Nag – A multi-nag starts off as a single nag, but ends as a cluster of nags in one sentence. I will usually start off nagging about one thing and as I’m nagging realize that there are several other nag-able offenses occurring, so I squeeze them all into one discussion. For example: My son may be sitting in the den watching Sports Center or that dreadful cartoon Regular Show. I’ll walk pass the room and notice his plate and cup from hours earlier are still on the coffee table. I’ll start off with, “Son, please move your plate and cup from this morning, I asked you to move those hours ago…and you still haven’t moved your sneakers from the foyer and what time did you say you were going to mow the lawn…it’s getting late.” That is multi-nagging at its best!

3. The Tag-Nag – This is the big daddy of them all. The infamous Tag-Nag. This one starts off with me nagging about something and my husband over hears and decides to get in on the action. Here is an example of a classic Tag-Nag: I walk pass my son’s room and say “Son, when are you going to clean this room? It’s an absolute mess, look at the clothes on the floor and your bathroom is a mess” My husband happens to walk by noticing the mess and overhearing the conversation. He adds “Yeah dude, this room is a mess. I can’t even walk thru hear without tripping over your stuff.”

When my son first introduced the names for the different types of my nagging, I laughed, in fact we both laughed. It was hilarious, but it also made me really listen to myself. Over the years I’ve learned to be as objective as possible, even when I’m fully convinced that I am right. Listening, I mean really listening to my kids (and husband) is one of the ways I learn to improve as a parent and a wife. I was indeed a nag. In fact, I had taken it to another level, but my son also had to admit to being a slob. My argument has always been, “If you did what I asked when I asked, I wouldn’t have to nag.” He (sort of) agreed but suggested that when I ask, I do it in a way that wasn’t so “naggy”.

Going forward, we’ve agreed that I would ask him what time he plans to have such & such done. If he doesn’t complete it by the given time, there will be consequences i.e. if his room isn’t clean by agreed upon date, he can’t go to basketball practice or the mall etc. So far, this approach is working well, but we’ll tweak if I’m not happy!