When I was growing up, the supermom was touted as the ideal mother. But when I became a mom, I realized that trying to be supermom was hard, unfulfilling and usually went unrecognized. I decided I’d rather have happiness over folded laundry. And yet, I still meet moms today who are trying to negotiate flex time or work from home so they have time for the kids and housework and all that goes into being a supermom. I'm not saying that is wrong. What I'm asking is, is that "all"?

I want to have it "all", but I could care less if my house is spotless or my laundry is folded. To me, having it all is having happy, healthy, loving relationships with my husband and kids, working to help cover the bills, doing enough house chores to avoid being on a episode of "Hoarders", and still have time for me.

The problem with the old idea of having it "all" is that it really meant DOING it all for everyone else. Remember the woman who could bring home the bacon, fry it in a pan and never let him forget he's a man? Well, what about her? What about her hopes and dreams? Her hobbies? Her need to recharge and refuel after doing it "all" for everyone else.

I've run into moms who think it's selfish for mothers to have personal pursuits or to need time for themselves. I don't get that. In fact, I think any mom who ignores herself is doing a disservice to her family. It takes a lot of energy to be a mom. Energy that doesn't manifest out of nowhere. I also believe it's important for children to see their parents as people. I don't want my son to marry and expect his wife to become a robot and I don't want my daughter to give up her hopes, dreams and who she is simply because she got married.

Can moms have it all? I think they can. But they have redefine what "all" is. I have it all. I've created a career I love. I have smart, funny, kind children that I spend time with. I have a loving and respectful relationship with my husband. I have time to engage in hobbies and pursue my dreams. I may have a few dust bunnies under the couch, but I figure the cats need something to play with.