As part of transition coaching I ask SAHM (Stay at Home Moms) why they want to go back to work? Usually the money is secondary to reasons like: contributing, getting out the house, having intellectually stimulating conversations, learning, being an interesting person, meeting new people, getting rewarded for good work and having a sense of worth.
Although staying home is such a rewarding job, it can be a very isolated place to be. Sitting in my house right now, I am aware that since going to the gym this morning, I have not talked to a single other person. Since I work on my computer most of the day, that is what I interact with. Computers are great but they just don't give me that warm fuzzy feeling that talking to a real live human being gives me.
Just to make the distinction, I am not talking about being depressed. There is a high incidence of unreported depression amongst stay at home moms. That makes me sad because how can a depressed mom raise a happy child? A friend of mine said she found no reason to get up in the morning, that's a sign she needs more than just a chat with a friend. Either than those cases most of us can do a lot of small things to keep ourselves connected to others and the things we love to do. I attend a monthly coffee with my neighborhood friends. I love to hike or take long walks, I have a walking buddy who enjoys doing the same. When my triplets were little, I used to have a girls night out once a month, my sanity break! Another remarkably energizing place I go is my weekly women's bible study on Wednesday mornings. I have never met a more caring, loving and supportive group of women.
Lastly the one thing that has made all the difference is I am not afraid to ask for help. For instance, when we were selling our house and had to make a ton of little updates, I called a friend. We spent the day touching up paint, putting down tiles and rearranging furniture. We had the music blaring, we ordered our meals for delivery and I still remember that as one of the most fun days in our friendship. I don't think I could have come this far with raising my kids without the help I got from family, friends and neighbors.
I would love to hear from other mom's how they combat being isolated.
Transition Coach Fez
http://www.coach2accomplish.com
Coaching Powerful Women to Transition with Purpose
I am right there with you
I am right there with you Ellenore. I felt the same way about my mom. I spent my childhood not appreciating what she did, even though now I marvel at it, but it really didn't seem to satisfy her and maybe that's what I was picking up on. There are so many choices now that I hope there are not too many moms that feel they "have to" do anything but rather that they "want to". That's where the energy is going to come from.
Transition Coach Fez
Coaching Powerful to Transition with Purpose
Thanks for sharing! I think
Thanks for sharing! I think it is important to realize this is normal and you can ask for help. My mother was a SAHM. I felt like she was never completely fulfilled with that choice. . it is one of the reasons I felt more comfortable with my decision to return to work with each of my children. Each choice is hard and you need to decide what is right for you. Glad to see there are people like you to help those still deciding . .
http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html