What it is:  To turn something over to your child means two things:

1. Your child feels ready for full authority over something.
2. You agree.

Why it’s important:  Sooner than you think you won’t have a choice.  Your child will claim his right to take charge of his life.  Best to practice early:

• Your child practices decision-making and consequences.
• You practice watching from the sidelines.  

Problem:  Fearing the test of our parenting, we panic when it’s time to let go. 

We Fear:

• Physical or emotional harm.
• Irreparable damage to his future opportunities.
• Failing to have delivered on our parenting promises. 

The Tip

Think Like a Personal Trainer

Responsibility is a skill-muscle that requires training.  Adopt the 4-step training process that works whether you’re training for a triathlon or for a responsible life.    

1.   Clarify Focus:  For what are you training and why?

Parents:  Clarify your parenting promises.

Kids:  Clarify personal benefit.

2.   Personalize Training:  Uniquely structure training to fit a unique individual.

Parents:  Teach what you know and find others to teach the rest.

Kids:  Discover what works through experience.

3.   Expand Awareness:  Personal values with short- and long-term goals.

Parents:  Solve problems for today, teach independence for a lifetime.

Kids:  Efforts today give satisfaction and set up a happy life.

4.   Design Environments:  Practice with guidance and support.

Parents:  Basic skills practiced doing small things; connect the small to your big parenting promises.

Kids:  Big lessons become recognizable through effective debrief of small actions.

Benefits

Letting Go Feels Great!

Celebrations!

Each step provides opportunities to celebrate the process of becoming responsible.

Peace

Training with awareness builds excitement about the coming-of-age process.

Confidence

A simple teaching strategy helps you through uncertainty.

Influence

Supporting your child’s desire for independence demonstrates your faith in her ability to thrive.  She’ll listen when you speak.

Promise Kept:

We promise to teach our kids how to stand behind the decisions they make.  By gradually turning over small responsibilities, you’ll make good on your promise.

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Related Tip of the Week:  Have Faith, Portion Control,