Tip of the Week - Don't Land

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Coach Lorraine

By Lorraine Esposito

Twitter: Coach Lorraine

I'm a active mother, life and fitness coach, writer, coach training instructor, and community member. My vision is to create a generation of people who can think for themselves and have the courage and skills to do something about it. My focus is parents with kids 2-12 who need a little help making good on their parenting promises.

Tip of the Week - Don't Land

Posted on November 27, 2012

What it is: The foundation for choosing well.

Why it’s Important:

Sure, there are tons of things kids aren't allowed to do, and
Yes, we must make sure to convey the message -- especially when safety is on the line, and
You're right, sometimes 'No' is a complete sentence, however
What if, you're child doesn't see her options, or
What if, he doesn't know how to NOT do this thing?

The Problem

Knowing what NOT to do is the answer to a problem.
Knowing what TO DO instead creates a solution.

You have the problem

Your child needs the solution

Leaders help others find solutions

The Tip

Ask how . . . How will you remember?

Step 1 - Something Good to Remember

Pick something your child wants to remember, such as the date or time of a party, or to bring something to school

Step 2 - Levels

Ask her how she will remember.

"How will you remember to (__)?"

Do prompt for more ideas
Don’t allow your child to rely on you to remind her
Do offer an idea if asked, but not right away
Don’t criticize any idea, just spark thinking
Do congratulate her great strategy (even if it's not great)
Don’t prepare her for failure

Step 3 - Hands Off

Congratulate him on the strategy and let him know that you have faith in him by taking your hands off.

Allow him to remember (or not) on his own

Step 4 - Celebrate

Win - Lose - Draw - She's a winner and so are you!

Yippie!

Benefits!

Respect - You're demonstrating respect for her ability to choose her destiny.

Willingness - To move forward in life you'll need to be willing to take chances and make mistakes.

Trust - Zipping your lips demonstrates your trust in HIM (not necessarily his strategy.)

Influence - Recognizing her as a young adult creates a feeling of collaborative partnership in which your voice gains strength.

Promise Kept - We promised to teach our kids how to be responsible and accountable. By challenging him to find a strategy for success, you are supporting his success.

Well done!