The Know-It-All

workmom blogs

Browse the topics @home and @work. Engage with leading bloggers who offer advice on family and career as well as share stories about our rich workmom experience. Share your comments.

engage!

Not a mom blogger?

blog directory

Coach Lorraine

By Lorraine Esposito

Twitter: Coach Lorraine

I'm a active mother, life and fitness coach, writer, coach training instructor, and community member. My vision is to create a generation of people who can think for themselves and have the courage and skills to do something about it. My focus is parents with kids 2-12 who need a little help making good on their parenting promises.

The Know-It-All

Posted on February 19, 2012

What is a Know-it-all? A person with a condescending attitude broadcasting that you are the only person with something worth listening to.

Why do we care? It's an environment that weakens the power of your influence.

The Problem: Habit, Attitude, Survival (oh my!)

·        Habit: Your job is to talk or teach during the day.
·        Attitude: You think you’re ideas are always right.
·        Survival: Being right equals strength – survival of the “rightest.”

Regardless the reason, people stop listening to a broadcasting know-it-all.

Experiment with 10 Edgy Questions

If you're trying to strengthen your relationship with a know-it-all, or you suspect that you've become one yourself, experiment with a few of these edgy questions that , when asked nicely and curiously, will surely grab the attention of even the most righteous.

Are you aware that you spend a lot of time trying to convince me how intelligent you are?
I'm used to having 2-way conversations, why are you dominating this one?
Do you realize that you're telling me things that I already know?
Do you realize that you’re telling me things that I don't really need/want to know?
Is your biggest fear that you'll appear ignorant?
Whoa, why are you trying so hard to convince me?
Why do you talk so much? What are you hoping to gain?
Are you trying to impress me?
Am I the only person in your life who really listens to you?

Do you just want me to be your audience?

I know, I know
Yes, these may be difficult to ask someone you care about—especially if that “someone” is you. Take some time to weight the risk with the benefits:
· If the risk is less than the frustration – ask.
· If the risk is greater than your frustration – ask anyway.

Frustration stinks up a relationship and robs you of your power to influence. Tolerating a “know-it-all” creates a bad habit of thinking you have little value to contribute.

Pew!

Remember to sharpen your communication skills and pick your timing or your words won’t reach anyone’s ear.

Benefit: In addition to creating an environment that supports your influence, consider this gem from John Wooden:

- - - - - - “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” - - - - -

Related Articles: Top 10 Benefits of Genuine Curiosity,

Related Tip of the Week: Powerful Listening

Chime in >>