The year is winding down and I am incredibly excited to report that I only have two more business trips on my calendar.   Toward the end of the year, I reflect on all that I’ve accomplished and evaluate whether the time I’ve spent away from my family has actually been worth it.  Every year, I conclude that, for the most part, it has.  After I take some time off at the end of December, I know I’ll be ready to get back in the saddle or, in my case, turn off my portable electronics, buckle up my seat belt, and listen to the important safety announcement.

I am often asked how I can handle all the travel when I leave Parker, my toddler, at home.  I’m typically gone two to three full days a week but I try to never be on the road more than two nights.  That means really early morning departures and late night arrivals back home. 

In general, the trips are a welcome break from daily parenting duties.  However, I miss him every single day that I’m gone.   Until my son was fully able to communicate with me, we struggled to connect on the days right after I would get home.   He would put me through a sort of penalty system.  He would refuse to eat or let me help him and I took this as his way of punishing me.  “NO Mommy, that’s Daddy’s job” was his favorite phrase and it stabbed me like a dagger in my heart.

My husband tried to console me by reminding me that Parker was only 2 years old and did not understand that he was hurting me.  But when I didn’t travel for a full week or two, I noticed that he was more affectionate with me and less obstinate.

At times, when Parker had been particularly cruel, or I had had a bad day at work, I found myself wondering whether I should throw in the towel to be a stay-at-home mom.  But I really like my job and I really enjoy the financial rewards and independence it gives me.

One day, someone helped me change my perspective.  Instead of the usual, “how are you able to leave your child?” discussion, they simply stated, “What a wonderful example you’re setting for your son!  He has a successful, self-sufficient mother who is able to provide for her family!”  I had never considered what I was giving to Parker in my absence, only what I had been taking away.  This new perspective gave me the incentive to get creative.

I wrote a book for him called “Mommy’s Going on a Trip” that details what I do when I’m away.  I read it to him the night before I leave and my husband reads it to him while I’m away.  This has helped immensely as it describes the different things I do and places I go, removing some of the mystery to Mommy’s disappearances. 

Another thing that helped was a recent family trip to Kansas City.  By then, Parker was finally old enough to understand walking through the airport, getting on the plane, riding on the escalators and moving walkways.  Exploring the airport got him excited for my travel.  Now when I call home each night, we discuss the airport and the plane and the different things I do while I travel.

Knowing that Parker has a better understanding of where I am when I go away has helped us both cope with the separation.  The travel still wears on us and there are times I’d prefer to be home.  But getting in front of my clients is part of what makes me successful and is a significant part of my job.  We continue to Skype, read the travel book I created, and discuss what I’m doing when I’m away.  I continue to focus on the benefits of my career and count my blessings.   But when all else fails and I need some additional motivation… I think of the miles I’ll be earning on my next flight and the wonderful family vacation we will take with them.

What tricks do you use to stay positive when you travel?  Please share them!

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